Comments : Colors, harmonies, melodies and life

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Suppose colors intertwined
    to fail significant elements.
    imagine harmonies mixed with melodies
    lost without a sound;
    burdens flood emotional work."

    Wow, you have clearly written a masterpiece here, the wording you used pulled my heart anbd soul into your thoughts. Great descriptions that not only sets a vivid scene for the reader, but makes them grasp what you are saying. I found each line here to be unique and refreshing to the soul, carry on.

    "fragrances overcome voices,
    and expressions compose everyday life.
    but there's no turning back,
    to change who we've made ourselves."

    I really liked the idea for this poem, not cliche at all but fresh. Well-expressed thoughts and emotions, giving the reader so many visuals.

    "you're mine and i'm yours -
    we're intertwined colors,
    melodies and harmonies
    without a sound....
    you're my voice,
    my fragrance.
    you're my expressions
    ... and you're my life."

    First line: "i'm" should be "I'm".

    "we're intertwined colors,
    melodies and harmonies
    without a sound ..."

    This has to be one of my favorite parts. The first line was so creative and different, it blew my breath away. The second line was so sweet and filled with love. The third line was well-worded and satisfied the reader. Nice job!

    "you're my voice,
    my fragrance.
    you're my expressions
    ... and you're my life."

    First two lines: So many emotions are flying freely throughout this piece, showing the love between both of you and how much he means to you.

    Excellent write, entranced my mind from start to finish.

    5/5 from me, take care and keep writing....

    Happy Easter!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The beautiful wording in this reaches the essence of what a romance should be, climaxing with the last line