Comments : UpDown

  • 7 years ago

    by Curing the Comon Cliche

    Great 1000th poem.

  • 7 years ago

    by anand singh

    The style in which you pen this is indeed different but lovely.
    The message you relayed in evry word is quite vivid and rings through clearly.
    Another sad yet beautifully penned piece.
    Paul...

  • 7 years ago

    by Melissa

    This is incredibly beautiful! I love the soft tone and the sweet vulnerability of your words. The beginning drew me in immediately, and

    comealittlecloser

    ^ I love how you squeezed these words together, such a great effect there.

    I think I'm a tad
    miffed because of
    all the feather ruffling
    you've been doing to my nest.

    ^ This is priceless, such simple beauty.

    And the ending ties it up quite nicely. Very nice work, look forward to reading more... :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Blissful

    The title caught my eye because it reminded me of a song we learned about in my music class called "Up and Down" which I really liked so I was lured in to read your poem haha.

    "comealittlecloser"
    I loved how you smushed the words together because it gives a visual meaning to the words on top of literal meaning as well. very creativea and quite effective.

    "seven.....thousand........miles..........away......"
    ^And on contrast I loved how you split this up to represent the distance expressed in your words.

    "I could whisper all of my
    insecurities
    and scrutinies
    if only
    you would hear me. "
    ^This just broke my heart because I know where you are coming from. Sometimes we have so much inside of us that we wish to get out but only if someone is actually hearing us not just listening.

    Visually this poem was just great! I love when people take risks in their writing, its quite appealing to the eye and refreshing to see something new. I loved the emotion you expressed and the bit of childlike tone in your voice. It shows no matter how strong a person is, love always makes them weak. You spoke from the heart which makes it easier for people to relate with your words...I know I did. Well written!

    *5/5*

    Bliss. {Beyond a Poet's Mind.}

  • 7 years ago

    by eR

    Wow, i don't know what to say-everyone's praised just about everything i could think to write.
    heartbreakingly beautiful? :)
    keep up the a m a z i n g work.

  • 7 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very creative writing... loved the style...
    love how u have penned 'comealittleclose'... it captures the reader's attention...

    I could whisper all of my
    insecurities
    and scrutinies
    if only
    you would hear me.

    ^^ I felt longingness... and loneliness... in these lines... beautifully penned...

    very emotional write...

  • Brilliant hun loved it!!! keep it up xxx
    cherelle

  • 7 years ago

    by Blissful

    Congrats on the win!
    very deserved. :]

  • 7 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats :)

  • 6 years ago

    by iRobbiee

    Very creative and different.. I like this poem because its just different.

  • 5 years ago

    by Roses and lilys

    Very interesting form. I liked it. The wording was great. I enjoyed reading it. The only change you might make is:
    "comealittlecloser." separate the words out.
    Other then that it is a great poem.

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Saphirx

    This was amazing. i like how you made it look to add a such emotion to the lines, you are a brilliant writer, great job ^u^

    -193

  • 3 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Great way to mix form and content! Loved it!

  • 3 years ago

    by Skyfire

    Great way to mix form and content! Loved it!