Comments : My Own Demise

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "But never again will I touch your hand again."
    `You dont need the second again here, it becomes really repetitive, and thrwos the flow off..

    "

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Ooops. Accidentally clicked the comment botton.

    I just wanted to let you know you really painted a dark atmosphere with this write, and it really gave me chills. I hope youre alright... you could just feel the true emotions coming through your words. :/

    Take care.
    5/5