Comments : Words ( Tanka )

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Beautifully expressed tanka, what feeling you have put into this piece, a wonderful read from start to finish. The topic was intresting and your wording was very captivating. Keep up the awesome work! Take care and God Bless....

    ~MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Good job with this, in life a voice tells us, maybe its our heart even telling us to put this person in the past, forget about them, and move on; yet we still have those memories [perhaps in this case letters] holding us back from moving on, and these tempt us to relive the love we once had with them all over again.

    Simply said, a topic I think that could be expanded so much beyond a poetry form.

    Well done though.

    5/5.

    Temps [Beyond a Poets Mind]

  • 14 years ago

    by mandy

    That was beautiful. Using a book to capture the pages of our life. Brilliant! Great job, once again.

    That's SO a 5/5!

    -mandy :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Memories do tempt us to rekindle an love that is no more. It is our heart telling us to but we should listen to our head and know that it is over. Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sourav

    A romantic dilemma that is you've expressed through this Tanka. And the beauty of this is in very few words you've said a lot. Nicely done!

  • 14 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Words are strong that it rekindles memories
    which are dead making us to remember...
    a touching Tanka..

  • 14 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Ingrid, waw, your words reveals your heart. You are filled with love and whatever you do comes from the heart.
    So much of us can relates to the feeling that your words give. Sometimes, and most often our hearts rule the brain and left us with rhetorical questions which brings confusion. I think when we loved from the heart, we'd no control over it other than thinking we should give it a try. Very well done my friend, 5/5, kel.

  • 14 years ago

    by John Long

    Past loves gone but not forgotten. There is always a poignancy to your poetry that makes it so interesting.

  • 14 years ago

    by anand singh

    You have done a beautiful job with this realistic piece my friend.The hardest thing for us to do in these situation, is move on. But that little voice keeps telling us that the flames can be rekindled, coupled with the memories and keepsakes of the heart.
    Again, a stunning write in only a few words.
    Keep up the great work my friend.
    An enjoyable read.
    Paul...

  • 14 years ago

    by The Prince

    Well written :) except you could rewrite the last line to fit the above image of the 'book' and the title. That way the whole poem relates to the title 'words', just a suggestion since the last line seems a little weak compared with the others. Good write, regardless.

  • 14 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    I really enjoyed your Tanka. When you looked upon its simplicity it is eady to think that they are eady to write, yet to condense eyour feelings and emotions into any form of poem is a very difficult task yet to get it to feel right in 31 syllables is quite an acheivement. It certainly looks, sounds and feels as if you managed to do that and you have just course to be proud of this your Tanka. Ray S

    For those of us who do not know what a Tanka is here is an explanation taken from Canada's First English Tanka Journal
    published by Tanka Canada

    What is Tanka?

    Tanka means short poem or short song in Japanese and is written using 31 Japanese syllables in five phrases in one line. Tanka has a history of more than 1300 years, so people may think that tanka is very old. Yes, it is old, but it has been modernized and many Japanese people today enjoy reading and writing tanka.

    When we write tanka in English, we usually use five lines. As for syllable counting, I personally like to use about 20 English syllables because this shortness is very close to Japaneses tanka. If you don't like to count syllables, just count words. Use 10 ~ 15 words, or up to 20 words at maximum. In the past, English tanka were often composed using 31 English syllables, but today's English tanka are much shorter.

    The five lines can be arranged in a short/long/shorft/long/long pattern following the Japanese tanka's 5/7/5/7/7 syllable sequence. This sequence is very rhythmical in Japanese, and if you feel the short/long/short/long/long pattern in English very rhythmical, you can follow, but not required always.

    Hope this is a help.

  • 14 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    A few correction eady should of course be easy sorry for my poor editing
    and the Canada's First English Tanka Journal
    published by Tanka Canada is called GUSTS a bi-annual magazine that accepts Tanka's for review if they a chosen they publish them in GUSTS Ray S

  • 14 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Ingrid,

    ..that inner voice, what/ who is it? I think it is the voice of loneliness, eating away at our healing hearts and minds...sometimes we are strong and ignore this intrusion/ interruption to our healing, whilst at other times we succumb and maybe enjoy reliving 'the good times' After all, why not, as I am sure it is part of the healing process to be curious to know how one would feel, almost like a test to see if we are healed or not?

    Nice work Ingrid as usual.

    Take care

    ((hugs)) xx

    Michael

  • 11 years ago

    by Darren

    I thought I was a bit of a know all when it came to poetry, but I actually had to look up the meaning of a Tanka,
    Similiar to a haiku but usually 5 lines. 5,7,5,7,7 syllables. Originates from Japan. (I have now done my homework for the day.)
    Onto the poem;
    (hold on, I have just scrolled down to find that somebody has given a complex explanation of a tanka!!!)

    Ok

    This is a poem about 'what if's?' Maybe you aren't as happy as you hoped and are looking back fondly on a lost true love?
    (this is what I get from it, might not be the case I know)
    The words work well, keeping treasured letters, inner voice battling with your concience.
    Good write and thanks for educating me.

  • 8 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Temptation is a wicked foe and we need more often to listen to our gut feelings, don't we?
    A brilliantly written little piece, Ingrid, and thank you; I have learned another form by studying this one!
    All the very best and do take care,
    Ben

  • 8 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    Nicely written Ingrid!
    I think we've all been there, tempted to end a relationship, but somehow, kept memories of the heady time spent in their arms, stops one from walking away.
    A good write Ingrid. I liked this short verse that says so much.