The pain of loneliness is like a disease that
has no cure but to have that love with you..
who will stay true. A touching write..hope all
is well with you..take care.

Cindy, this is such a sad write from you.

I like the short, neat rhyming verse in which you tell this sad tale. Unfortunately, this tale is closer to truth. To me it echoes your 'Family Tree' poem.

You can break my heart
Ignore that I'm here
Cause me more suffering
Your time one day nears
^
This is like a warning, and one I hope is listen to!

I won't ask for much
Or get in your way
Just need you with me
Till my final day
^
Here we have sad exceptance of the situation, with a final plee.

((hugs)) I really feel for you.

Take care

It is sad when people forget that we are here. Your words are profound and powerful. Well written with a message. Good job.

I honestly think the rhyme you have here disrupts the tone and cadence of your poem and what could potentially be a sad piece for the reader lacks emotional depth because your train of thought is distorted by those monosylabbic rhymes.

'You can forget I live' could be delivered better since 'can' is such a tentative word. I also didn't understand how the first stanza didn't rhyme but the rest did, though as I've mentioned; the predictability of your rhyming E.G. 'tears/fears' makes it impossible for me to get any sort of reaction since there a lot of pieces like this, and I know you can write better.

'You can't take my heart
My memories are real
I lived all these moments
Those you can't steal'

Suggestion here could be to suggest 'you can take my heart' then contrast it with the memories not being able to be stolen? Would make a bigger impact than what you have already. If not you could change the second line because 'memories are real' is an obvious thing to say, and you mentioned your heart to only quickly have a transition to 'memories'. Why don't you make the second line about the heart too?

The contrast in tone towards the last two stanzas confused me since you said 'you can't take my heart' then it's as if the persona wants them towards the end. See contrast in stanzas 5 & 6 with 7 & 8, the tone shifts awkwardly and it's a confusing ending for me.

Not a bad write but you can do a lot better.

Cindy.. my heart just went out to you as I read this poem which was so sadly written, LOL. It was very touching, and thought provoking. No one knows the pain of loneliness, unless they experience it .. but your poem made me think what it must be like, LOL.

Lots of hugs Cindy,
Thinking of you,
Olwin,

Omg how wonderful!!! soooo amazing. i love it. Every little piece of it. 5/5. ~KM~

Some great comments you had so far as i just went through them.
I dont think this is a poem which was written with any intention of pleasing anyone so it ofcourse doesnt need any improvement or criticism.
This is simply a release in an artitistic manner. Potraying the depth of sadness in few words, not many of us could do that.

I loved everything about it, specially knowing the fact that you felt good after writing this one.

all the best and take care

Wow.. I really really dont know what to say. Made me want to cry.. such sadness youve written but your title.. "You Cant Crush My Dreams" says everything.

Stay strong and best wishes.
Temps.

This is emotional. And this is very emotional.
One can feel your words. I don't have much to say as I know from where it came. Only thing I would like to say that if I look at it mere poetic point of view even then I find it a very well written poem. Lovely flow and words from the heart. Well done, Cindy... take care!

Cindy,
This is such a sad write. I have told you many times before to never let anyone crush your dreams. I understand the pain and know that this write comes from the very heart of the pain when you feel like everyone around you has left you alone. Remember you are never alone.
Love you,
Kay

The words you spoke here in this very sad and heartbreaking piece, is sharp and powerful to pierce the coldest of hearts.
Like I said, your words always brings the teras to my eyes and this is no exception.
Awesomely penned though very sad.
Take care my dear friend.
Paul...

Wow this was absolutely beautiful. 5/5

Another very sad verse, the flow and rhyme were perfect here and the sadness seemed very real. Nicely done.