Comments : A Plump Canvas Underplot (Puente)

  • 14 years ago

    by Rachelle

    I liked it

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I have not heard of this form before, many poets on here learn a lot from you, thank you for explaining the form and its rules at the bottom. That is very helpful.

    "Intertwined like ivy climbing a wall,"

    The simile here was beautiful, this line just seemed so alive and real. I could picture this in my mind and the thought of it.

    "reversed then reunited standing tall."

    Loved the imagery here, I never have thought of it this way like you have described.

    "Scripted with the hands of creation,"

    This line just wowed me, probably my favorite line. I keep re-reading it and it just holds much hope and power.

    "~a plump canvas underplot~"

    "plump canvas" was very surprising to me, I really haven't heard "plump" used much in a poem and it was used so differently here.

    "twisted the standards of production."

    I think you could write a two line poem and still leave the reader satisfyed, this line alone holds so much, I just don't know what to say but great job. I am sorry I have no suggestions for you.

    "Bloomed flowerings encompassing the screen"

    I haven't heard "flowerings" before, so this was interesting to read.

    "viewed as though an intricate dream."

    Now I like how this line could easily be cliche, but the way you worded it made it the opposite.

    5/5 from me, keep up the great work!

    Take care and God bless you!

    ~MaryAnne