Dawn's Rising

by Lady Nik   Jun 13, 2009


Frozen in place
While they try to erase her face.
Bleeding out their sorrows
Darkness never felt so insane.

Broken mind
Emptiness beyond all sunlight.
She says I love you
For the very last time.

Trying to say goodbye
While choking on her lies
No one believes her
And now she has nowhere to hide.

Dreams tainted as the moon sets.
Trying so hard but she can't forget
All the scars she craved.
Now it's too late for regrets.

She's walking around in circles
As her blood turns a dark purple.
Screaming out for help
Trying not to be so doubtful.

The world is sucking her in
She doesn't know where to begin.
She feels so hollow.
She doesn't know if she exists.

Looking at the sky
Trying to find a reason why?
She was left alone
To deteriorate and slowly die.

She finds chrysanthemums at her window
Wondering if she should let go.
Holing on to what's left of her heart
Trying not to let the pieces show.

Now she's shaking and her soul is dying
She pops that last pill she's done trying
All she asked for was remembrance
After dawn's rising.

*For my best friend Mayah*

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Steady Stereotype

    The flow in this poem was shaky, choppy words that insome places didn't seem to entirely fit. I found that you were focusing on making it more so rhyme than the emotion and overall flow of the poem.

    Though I do like how your poem had a mix of cliche's and then their own healthy mix of words and creativity.

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Disaster

    The world is sucking her in
    She doesn't know where to begin.
    She feels so hollow.
    She doesn't know if she exists.

    to me this part is very powerful
    i can relate to it.
    this poem has so much emotion and passion.
    Definitely a 5/5

    -->Jess<--

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The flawless flow made this a beautiful read in spite of the sad theme. This well written poem deeply touched my heart.
    5>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 14 years ago

    by Good Enough

    This peice of work is remarkable. I can feel all the pain driven down inside ur write. Its very visual as well. Great job and keep up the good work.

  • 14 years ago

    by Exostosis

    Wow....a strong reflection of pain can be observed. . .you've raised the bar to the next level...idk what to say ..im speechless beyond this......

    keep up the good work ^^,

    peace~

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