Comments : Just Accept It.

  • 14 years ago

    by Jubb Jubb

    This poem is really good.
    i know what thats like and its not fun.
    well done my friend
    5/5
    :D
    ~Amy

  • 14 years ago

    by Hopeless Romantic

    Now this one I liked as well. It gives the rest of us an idea of whats going on when we see someone experience this. Maybe a few people who read this will think about it next time we encounter someone experiencing a panic attack. Nice job again m8.

  • 14 years ago

    by Kianna

    I sometimes think we live to die. This poem is amazing, true.
    keep up the awesomeness
    5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Mike

    I actually know exactly what you mean. there is no understanding for me, i live the exact same way.

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Its been too long
    Its been too soon
    Its coming again, it cant be true."

    All of the "Its" should be "It's".

    And "cant" should be "can't". I feel like you used to many "It's" and "been"s, etc. It wasn't the strongest opening, but it was still filled with feeling.

    "That we live for nothing
    We have no meaning
    We live to die."

    Well-expressed thoughts and emotions, you really make the reader think and ponder on what you are writing. But I agree with Luna Blue, you used "we" way too many times. Try being more original and creative.

    "My heart begins to race
    The room begins to spin.
    These thoughts keep screaming in my head.
    I feel so unreal
    So distant...
    I cant calm down
    Or get a grip
    Its so hard to breathe..."

    "cant" should be "can't".

    "Its" should be "It's".

    Other than that, nice descriptions, I love the wording.

    "Is this normal...?
    Am I crazy...?
    Is it OK to be afraid of death
    For after all
    The meaning of life... is death."

    First and Second line: The dots were un-needed and it would look better if deleted.

    Third line: "OK" should be "okay".

    "And I just cant accept it."

    "cant" should be "can't". I liked this line though.
    The last two lines: A good ending, powerful and it hits the reader, although I don't agree. You could add a bit more punctuatiion in places and not use so many of the same words. But you explained and expressed yourself very well.

    I don't agree with the last line though, but that's just my opinion. After life, in my opinion, you go to Heaven, where you will spend eternity.

    4/5 from me, just touch up on some spots and this will be a better poem.

    Take care and have a good week.

    ~MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen

    Short yet filled with deep emotion. Sometimes in order for us to overcome fears about some things, we have to accept it wholeheartedly that wether we like it or not, its gunna happen anyways..So why are we going to die unprepared if from the day we were born we knew already where we are going to end..

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Its been too long
    Its been too soon
    Its coming again, it cant be true.

    *I would change "coming" to "happening". Sounds better that way*

    That we live for nothing
    We have no meaning
    We live to die.

    *Awww such a sad way to think. I liked how you started this. I would take out "that" and just start with "we" that way you have three "its" and three "we's". Lol Hope that helps*

    My heart begins to race
    The room begins to spin.
    These thoughts keep screaming in my head.

    *I would find some way to break that sentence down...it's super long and it kinda stops the flow a little*

    I feel so unreal
    So distant...
    I cant calm down
    Or get a grip
    Its so hard to breathe...

    *I like this ending part. I feel like I'm watching you fade away and I just want to save you. Love the image here, very strong*

    Is this normal...?
    Am I crazy...?
    Is it OK to be afraid of death
    For after all
    The meaning of life... is death.

    And I just cant accept it.

    *I really like your style. It's so different. But the single line ending is like my favorite part. it makes things so final and I really like that. Please keep on writing. You are so gifted. :) Nik*