Comments : Boredom is a Disease

  • 14 years ago

    by DreamingOutLoud

    Very creative and original. love it!

  • 14 years ago

    by Hollow Emotion

    This is really good, a bit of a change of pace with the words, many of the words used are unique, that makes this poem really original. Well done. The imagery was also very well described. I really like the second stanza, it flowed so well and it was full of power words.

    Very well done!! 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness...

    *I really loved this part. I can picture little bubbles floating in the air carrying your thoughts. :) Very creative image.*

    Yet, oftentimes like
    comic figures hanging
    at the edge of sanity but
    most of the times,
    envisage death basking
    between the jaws of reality with
    a flamboyant face...

    *Wow the words you use here are so strong. I love it! My favorite line was "envisage death basking" That really got my attention. I also like the alliteration you use with "flamboyant face" This poem is off to a great start.*

    Nevertheless I am,
    miserably fascinated

    *I like how you said that. People hardly tie fascination with misery, but you do it so well here and it makes alot of sense.*

    -of my third eye's
    -elusive grin, blissful
    not of a downfall but
    festivity--full of
    -ripe emotions nurtured
    in a barrel of olden days...

    *Yay :) more great diction. I love a poem with some mind blowing diction and you have tons of words like that. I love the imagery here, it's very strong, but not overpowering.*

    These days, I hate the
    way how my lipstick-stained

    *I don't think you need "how" But i like the "lipstick- stained" part it seems so personal. It's a nice touch*

    cup of coffee stares
    at me- as if it knows the-
    emptiness inside when-
    the fang of boredom
    injured the many minds...

    *Hmmm...your ending seems a little weak. I'm not sure why, but something about it feels unfinished. I would try something like

    at me...as if it knows the
    depths of the empitness
    inside me when
    the fang of boredom
    injured my mind.

    That way you are tying it back to you, instead of talking about others. I think it was that last line that threw me off. Hope that works...maybe it's just me lol. Anway I thought you did a wonderful job. I loved reading it. Keep it up. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by Alvaro

    Wows haha i enjoyed that a little bit too much read it twice haha second time with a little tone to it. Well just wanted to give my opinion on each part, first time i ever done this but it just seems this poem is something else. Not going to critique it just gonna give me opinion on how i feel about it

    My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness...

    *okay first of all the way the word nothingness was thrown in this part was brilliant, i would say its the reason i read it twice*

    Yet, oftentimes like
    comic figures hanging
    at the edge of sanity but
    most of the times,
    envisage death basking
    between the jaws of reality with
    a flamboyant face...

    *whaat! this part tells me two things, not only that you write passionately but tells me that you can actually see what goes thru ur mind and be able to write it in a very poetic way which made me smile for some odd reason.*

    Nevertheless I am,
    miserably fascinated
    -of my third eye's
    -elusive grin, blissful
    not of a downfall but
    festivity--full of
    -ripe emotions nurtured
    in a barrel of olden days...

    *now this is what made this poem unique, it sorta felt like i was being pushed into a deeper thought than what i was in before, like a little nudge, loved it*

    These days, I hate the
    way how my lipstick-stained
    cup of coffee stares
    at me- as if it knows the-
    emptiness inside when-
    the fang of boredom
    injured the many minds...

    *great ending, a lot of imagery in the whole poem, well thanks for painting this picture for me, appreciate it loved your poem 5/5 good stuff xD

  • 14 years ago

    by Alvaro

    OH damn didnt write it in the prvious comment but great vocabulary it gave a different kind of shade to the poem which made it look elegantly

  • 14 years ago

    by IMMORTAL PAIN

    IM A BEGGINING WRITER. AND ONE THING I HAVE WANTED TO WORK ON IS A BIGGER VOCAB, NOW I LOVE THE WAY YOU PUT EVERYTHING TOGETHER WITH THESE BIG WORDS I HAD TO LOOK IN THE DICTIONARY FIRST LOL. BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT THE MEANING I UNDERSTOOD YOUR POEM. VERY EXPRESSIVE. UR AWESOME KEEP WRITING.

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Loved your title! So intriguing and well... basically the truth haha.

    'My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness...'
    `Very interesting and strong beginning.. I loved your metaphor here of your thoughts being bubbles and having no meaning to them..

    'Yet, oftentimes like
    comic figures hanging
    at the edge of sanity but
    most of the times,
    envisage death basking
    between the jaws of reality with
    a flamboyant face...'
    `Wow this is extremely original, I adored everything in this stanza.. awesome word choice to describe how your thoughts sometimes nearly driving you insane..bordem will always make you feel that way haha

    'Nevertheless I am,
    miserably fascinated
    -of my third eye's
    -elusive grin, blissful
    not of a downfall but
    festivity--full of
    -ripe emotions nurtured
    in a barrel of olden days...'
    `Woah, I am absolutely speechless, I would like to point out though, I dont think the dashes are necessary before those few words, other than that.. wooah, this was an extremely powerful stanza.. ripe emotions - ahhh, that was amazingly said!

    'These days, I hate the
    way how my lipstick-stained
    cup of coffee stares
    at me- as if it knows the-
    emptiness inside when-
    the fang of boredom
    injured the many minds...'
    `'Fang of bordem injured the many minds' - great idea..! how bordem is a fang injuring our minds, you said something so dull and boring in the most unique way! Really well done with this..

    What a poem this was.
    I will have to nominate it myself.
    Well done! This was really well done...it held my attention from beginning to end.

    5/5. Temps

  • 14 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    Very stimulating and interesting to read. These lines I liked the best:

    "My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness..."

    It's like you're saying to keep and brings into mind that make you happy. 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Jacqueline Bautista

    I really liked this poem!!
    its veryy original and full of feeling....
    it flows really well:)
    loved it!!

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This has a great free flow and a deep sharing of feelings

    Very enjoyable read

  • 14 years ago

    by SADADDY

    Really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. May you find peace and joy deep within your heart each and every day.

    sadaddy

  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Superb vocab... its your word choices that have stood out... very succint in delivering the idea...

    'My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness...'

    ^^ the comparison with bubbles the picture very clear... its like when thoughts keep coming and going without any meaning or motive...

    ''Nevertheless I am,
    miserably fascinated
    -of my third eye's
    -elusive grin, blissful
    not of a downfall but
    festivity--full of
    -ripe emotions nurtured
    in a barrel of olden days...'

    ^^ just blown over by the word choices... and the imagery is so creative ... the last two lines are brilliant... well penned...

    'way how my lipstick-stained
    cup of coffee stares
    at me- as if it knows the-
    emptiness inside when-
    the fang of boredom
    injured the many minds...'

    ^^lipstick stained coffee... thats very original... but the ending was not that capturing when compared to other stanza...

    overall a beautiful write...

  • 14 years ago

    by Sourav

    Certainly it seems that this poem ends somewhat abruptly. But even than I din't find it less interesting. At times it feels better like this. Your use of words and creation of lines are excellent. I really like this kind of poetry. A beautifully written poem!

  • 14 years ago

    by Mezmeryz

    Wow! i totally love your use of vocabulary, i had to read it twice to understand it..but, thats only because i'm a little slow, when it comes to long words =] lol
    Its quite original, quite unique, touching on quite an interesting subject... very creative!

    My thoughts
    are like bubbles restlessly
    floating, and soaring into
    the abyss of nothingness...

    ^^ i love these lines, they had me hooked from the beginning, and i could totally relate, but i love how you put it into words...your an awesome poet! i could never ever come up with that, though, when i read these lines, i thought 'wow, that is so me!' lol...Don't stop writing...MEZi x

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Congrats on the win, Miren.

    You deserved it!

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 14 years ago

    by East Poetry

    Kinda confusing..... like sea ducks twisting on a turtle daisy. It's either a very deep poem that as deep meaning to you, or..... uhhhh something else. fun to read none the less. ; )

    Randy

  • 14 years ago

    by Scorpio

    Congratulation,,,,, very wonderful piece has everything waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw...

    u deserve that babe, m very happy 4 ya and very proud.

    keep it up. :-*

  • 14 years ago

    by Levi

    I have a vast imagination and still find myself in situations like this.. except the lipstick part haha..

    well written.. i enjoyed this poem and it brought a smile to my face when thinking about comic book characters falling of cliffs haha

  • 14 years ago

    by Ed or Ian Henderson

    I'm loving the Hicks/Stanhope parallels. Nice one!

  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen

    LOL..someone couldnt stand my rating out of 18 votes...And voting without commenting..Tsk! Tsk!