I Want To Watch The Moonlight...

by Dreamofolwin   Jul 1, 2009


I want to watch the moonlight,
Held close in your embrace...
The starlight sky above me,
As I look into your face.

To rest my weary head,
Comfortingly next to you...
Coz there's no where on this earth,
I'd rather be than be with you.

Sweet moments here I cherish,
With no thought of self or time...
Just knowing every heartbeat,
That you take so close to mine.

It fills me.. it completes me,
The love you've given me...
I never shall forget it,
Because it's become a part of me.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 2 years ago

    by STEVE

    This is a really sweet poem,5/5

  • 2 years ago

    by Iainj

    ..

  • 5 years ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    What a wonderful poem Dreamofolwin!!!
    Simply beautiful words here! Loved it!
    Keep writing your magic!!!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    It fills me.. it completes me,
    The love you've given me...
    I never shall forget it,
    Because it's become a part of me.

    --Nice Ending..and I like this part too..Amazing piece:)

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    :=)

    5/5-C

  • 6 years ago

    by Randy East

    I really appreciated your comment on my poem soul mate. so I thought i would return the favor and come back and read more of yours.

    First off... me and you have the exact same style of poetry writing. I really dig that about you. I really liked this poem. It would be perfect for a hallmark card.... seriously : )

    a few small changes I might make.

    instead of:
    I'd rather be than be with you.

    you may like:
    I'd rather be with then with you.

    also.. perhaps change Coz to "because",
    but make the line above it a bit longer to
    help the flow.
    as in:
    Comfortingly next to you...

    could be:
    As I lay comfortably next to you..

    just a thought.

    And lastly, the entire poem is Great.
    but there are too many "Me"s at the end.
    if you can repair that... it might help too.

    if you get a chance, check out more of mine.
    cool?