Adrift an Empty Breeze

Honestly this was pretty well done I don't have as much to complain about. Drop the ands at the start of sentences, you'll find it flows much better (even in the first stanza) Try to keep your lines relatively the same length and you'll find the flow to be more solid. Rhmyes need some work to be honest, it sounds okay when you say it aloud, but when you look at the words you know they don't rhyme, especially when you pronounce them poroperly. This was better though nicely done

This poem was a beauty, from even the title, right through 'til the end.

The opening stanza creates a scene of the persona not knowing where to go from here. They're lost in a place that should be comforting (clouds, breeze, would generally be associated with peacefulness, perhaps?) yet it's not peaceful. They're just lost.

- "How can I make sense of reality
Without any present form of direction?"

I loved these two lines, because it's a question we ask ourselves all the time. We all think that when our lives seem to have no direction, no forwarding force pushing us to where we need to be, that we're lost. I like to think, however, that having no form of direction is the BEST way to be. It leaves us totally free and able to do what our heart desires and go wherever we choose.

- "Because it's just easier to watch the sun become the moon
And smile as the stars fall from the sky."

This was beautiful, too. A sad sort of feeling seems to linger on the words, despite the use of "smile". It is anything but happy.

This was a beautiful read.

I though overall that this was very good, i mean it flowed well and the general idea of the poem was great and not cliche whatsoever.

"I'm slowly coming to accept this skeptic view
Of the current flow of vapour I am held by
Because it's just easier to watch the sun become the moon
And smile as the stars fall from the sky"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^I absolutley love this last two lines, very powerful.

Also you said land beneath my feet twice in poem and saying it twice was really overbearing and i dont think it fit well because clearly it wasnt for repition but maybe lack of words? not sure. Well still a great write. well deserved 5/5

This is amazing. It's so creative and unique, and captivates the reader from the start. I really enjoyed reading this and I loved the ending, was so powerful. You are a very talented writer. Well done :) 5/5

I also like to write stories into my poems, nice job.