Comments : Parallel

  • 14 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I love the word choice and the imagery. A beautiful piece.

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Sometimes,
    when the wind eases
    -I fumble.-"

    I loved the style/format in which you wrote this in, it was easy to read and added much to the poem. Great opening lines, this had me reading on and I loved how you expressed yourself.

    "Incandescent
    are your eyes
    imprinting the
    sunrise in mine."

    Beautiful imagery here, although these are just few words, you have said so much and created a scene so real. Your creativity really shines here, great work Mel!

    "You are,
    only stable when
    upon the edge of cliffs."

    Loved the description here, very unique.

    "Concentrated,
    as you tempt height.
    -Temerarious-"

    The wording here is strong, great vocabulary used.

    "I've,
    collapsed while
    you've held
    bees within your palm.
    -Hypersensitive-
    do you try and
    terminate a heart?"

    Wow, this just took my breath away, what meaning is held here.

    "Yet still you love."

    This line, although standing alone, was strong by itself

    "We are,
    a rose stem attached
    with thorns,
    Guided only by
    tornado lives;
    into each others arms.
    -Parallel-"

    Wow, what a stunning picture you have created. 5/5 from me, I am adding this on my favorites. You have such a unique style and this was very fresh.

    Congrats on the win, you sure deserved it!
    I hope there are more commenters on this lovely masterpiece.

    Take care!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 14 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Mel, I vow and declare how do you do it? Your work is far beyond your years and the words you use are amazing. Wow. 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    An interesting write indeed! I like how you
    have described two personalities with vivid
    imagery..very very well done! Congrats on
    the win :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    'Sometimes,
    when the wind eases
    -I fumble.-
    Incandescent
    are your eyes
    imprinting the
    sunrise in mine. '
    `This was just a breathtaking stanza, your words are truly beautiful.

    'I've,'
    `I dont think the comma is necessary?

    'I've,
    collapsed while
    you've held
    bees within your palm.
    -Hypersensitive-'
    `I'm almost positive by saying 'bees within your palm' you mean something totally different, a metaphor that I do not see! This really made me think. :]

    'into each others arms.
    -Parallel-'
    `Very strong ending. I loved how you used your title to end it.. it was perfect!

    A wonderful write, I can't believe I didn't read this the week that it won, but wow is it ever deserving of that win. :]