Holding me back..

by She Loves Me She Loves Me Not   Aug 2, 2009


Pills clutched tightly toward my chest
Nobody can tell I'm seriously depressed
Swallow every one and I'll be dead
I will leave behind everything that I said

Deprived of everything that I desire
Thoughts exhaust me, I'm left to tire
Nothing seems as easy as it once was
But only I know what is the real cause

You look at me, an average person
I look in the mirror, I begin to worsen
Nobody can see why I hate myself so much
I can no longer hack life, I've lost my touch

But will I always be on an elastic rope?
Pulled back into reality by people's hope
That one day I can ignore my imaginary friend
They love me too much, they just won't let life end.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Of Sweet Insanity

    WOW.
    Fantastic.

    People definitely can be absolutely clueless. Great job mate.

    -me

    5/5(:

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    I'd comment on each stanzas like I have been doing but tbh I can't. All I can say is such a flawless poem written with so much emotion. It's horrible knowing how clueless people can be at times. Wonderfully written once again, 5/5. Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Michelle

    The flow was a little choppy once again, but not too bad. I must say, I love the imagery you use in all of your poems.

    Another good read.

    -Stephanie

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Pills clutched tightly toward my chest

    *I would change this to "pill bottles clutched tighly against my chest* It sounds weird when you just say "pils'*

    Nobody can tell I'm seriously depressed
    Swallow every one and I'll be dead
    I will leave behind everything that I said

    *This was sad. You better now kill yourself or I'll bring you back as a gay guy :P lol anyways ways back to your poem. I like the hyme and how you point out no one can tell you're depressed. That's usually the case when it come to suicidal kids. I liked that you added that part in*

    Deprived of everything that I desire
    Thoughts exhaust me, I'm left to tire

    *Flawless line!!!! I loved it :) *

    Nothing seems as easy as it once was
    But only I know what is the real cause

    *This reminds me of what you said in the first stanza about no one knowing your real problems. It makes me sad that people can be so clueless sometimes*

    You look at me, an average person
    I look in the mirror, I begin to worsen
    Nobody can see why I hate myself so much
    I can no longer hack life, I've lost my touch

    *I would change the last line to "I can no longer feel love, I've lost my touch" I think that would be a good way to express what this depression does to you. What you said before was a little confusing to me. But I like what you said before that. Very clever lines my friend*

    But will I always be on an elastic rope?

    *This sounds weird like this. I'd change it to "I wonder if I will stay on this elastic rope" that seems to flow better to me*

    Pulled back into reality by people's hope
    That one day I can ignore my imaginary friend
    They love me too much, they just won't let life end.

    *I really liked this Shaun. I think you put alot into it and you told a story that is commom with alot of people. Nice work dear. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    This poem was very well written, its one of your best =] Your rhyming is very good.

    Your emotion is so strong here it consumed me as i read futher on into the poem, you pulled me in with each heartbreaking stanza you wrote.

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