Comments : Paint Me Beautiful

  • 8 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I loved this write! What a unique way of putting together a poem, each stanza created by a different image! I love it!

    'From the eye, color streaks
    as imagination paints -
    bronze toned beaches
    beneath an ivory sky
    as silver ripples whisper
    Sabah al kheer !'
    `Your imagery is breathtaking here, I don't even think I need to look at the picture youve created it for me here with your great descriptions and colors. Loved the line that ended this stanza; I'm guess its something they say in Egypt.. maybe good morning or something having to do with the sunrise :]

    'Mesmerizing and tranquil
    marble waters shimmer.
    Orchid and red-violet
    stream through the billows
    to greet with a warm
    Bonjour !'
    `So beautiful how in different countries the sunrise always look different. This one different than the one in Egypt.. your words are absolutely gorgeous, I can imagine this sunrise just as well as the first one :]

    'A dash of cerulean
    pinch of carnelian
    placed neatly in a bed of white.
    Kneaded gently by the hands
    that howl,
    Good morning !'
    `I dont know what colors cerulean or carnelian are but I bet they beautiful. Another great stanza full of imagery. I can see big white puffy clouds of white and the sun rising from behind them.

    'Reflection -
    and the magical kiss of
    pink frost and icy shorelines.
    Crisp mountain air speaks
    breathe -inhale, exhale-
    Rise and shine !'
    `Indeed this sounds like Canada! Awesome job with your descriptions here.

    'Eye colors may differ,
    yet all see the same!
    Color of skin,
    nationality,
    personality
    all different.'
    `You speak nothing but the truth here. Your words are so powerful with wisdom. We're all the same no matter what your nationality, personality is. They may be different, yet we are all the same.

    '- Yet -
    we all wake
    beneath the same rising sun ...
    Good morning World !
    Sabah al kheer, Bonjour, Good morning, Rise and shine
    Friends ...'
    `A beautiful ending and a warm dedication to friends you have across the world.

    I would have never came up with something like you have, so clever and one of my favorite poems Ive read from you. I adored it. Very original :]

    '

  • 8 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Very nice piece for the contest Lu, you did a great ob incorporating colour and I love the message behind it. Good Job!

  • 8 years ago

    by Cindy

    Very beautiful and unique.
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 8 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    Luanne,
    What a very nice and different friendship poem you have woven here. I loved the different way of incorporating the "Good Mornings" in there and then even the description of the corners of the world. Wonderful job girl.
    Take Care,
    Kay

  • 8 years ago

    by Knee

    "Reflection -
    and the magical kiss of
    pink frost and icy shorelines.
    Crisp mountain air speaks
    breathe -inhale, exhale-
    Rise and shine !

    From -
    our deepest thoughts,
    to a palette,
    through a brush,
    perhaps a pen and poetic strokes
    -to beauty-"
    ^My fave stanzas :)
    Loved this write Lu <3
    Thanks for the exclusive rights sweetie, I'm so proud of you!

    Way to go~
    Love you!

  • 8 years ago

    by The Prince

    This is a poetic triumph, Luanne.

    The tone of morning is a suitable one, the feeling of optimism, of a new day; a warm greeting. I feel the image of morning works well in this piece, and the various images you paint are well crafted. It exudes themes of friendship without being too spoon-feeding.

    'bronze toned beaches
    beneath an ivory sky
    as silver ripples whisper'

    If you take your three colours here; I don't think they blend as well as they could. Since they're imporant to establish this scene, I think that 'ivory' disagrees with the 'bronze', you also have 'bronze' and 'silver', I think it'd be a nice touch to have 'under a golden sun', so you get all three of those related colours.
    Just an idea, hah.

    I don't think this stanza, though:

    'Eye colors may differ,
    yet all see the same!
    Color of skin,
    nationality,
    personality
    all different.'

    Serves a purpose, other than to spoon-feed. Just an opinion, but if you took it out, it wouldn't make a difference to the poem.

    I shan't pick this apart, but it's another well written piece from you. Well done. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Its a beautiful write... the essence of all the places beautifully blended... so nice that you have friends from all over the world :)

    //- Yet -
    we all wake
    beneath the same rising sun ... // this one has a very deep meaning... no matter to what country or race we belong to,... we are still one :)

    lovely write :D

  • 8 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    ^From the eye, color streaks
    as imagination paints -
    bronze toned beaches
    beneath an ivory sky
    as silver ripples whisper
    Sabah al kheer !^

    Vivid imagery. It is inspirational to imagine these far away places our cyber friends are from.

    ^Mesmerizing and tranquil
    marble waters shimmer.
    Orchid and red-violet
    stream through the billows
    to greet with a warm
    Bonjour !^

    Beautiful word choice and the incorporation of another language again. Very unique.

    ^A dash of cerulean
    pinch of carnelian
    placed neatly in a bed of white.
    Kneaded gently by the hands
    that howl,
    Good morning !^

    Gorgeous imagery here. I love your choices from the list of colors.

    ^Reflection -
    and the magical kiss of
    pink frost and icy shorelines.
    Crisp mountain air speaks
    breathe -inhale, exhale-
    Rise and shine !^

    Again, it is nice to see at the end of the stanza a different greeting.

    ^From -
    our deepest thoughts,
    to a palette,
    through a brush,
    perhaps a pen and poetic strokes
    -to beauty-^

    It is something the picture painting imagery of the mind.

    ^Eye colors may differ,
    yet all see the same!
    Color of skin,
    nationality,
    personality
    all different.^

    We all watch the same sun, moon and stars. I really like this stanza. It means to me that beauty is diverse. Just beautiful.

    ^- Yet -
    we all wake
    beneath the same rising sun ...
    Good morning World !
    Sabah al kheer, Bonjour, Good morning, Rise and shine
    Friends ...^

    What an excellent ending. Vivid imagery throughout the piece. You did the pictures justice!
    It was well thought out, clever and unique. Great job!

  • 8 years ago

    by Twisted Heart

    Good Morning, Dear. Very clever concept. True brilliance. As I read each stanza, was "mesmerized" myself by the beautiful descriptions. Each capturing the reader with the imagery. Well done, dear friend.

    Always,
    Auntie Jeannie

  • 8 years ago

    by Deana

    So beautiful Luanne, the imagery was perfect!- Yet -
    we all wake
    beneath the same rising sun ...
    Good morning World !
    Sabah al kheer, Bonjour, Good morning, Rise and shine
    Friends ...

    This stanza was outstanding to me...we are all connected no matter what area of the world we live in! Brilliant!