Enthralled by raven hair and lace
Your crimson lip's make my heart race

*Wow.....that is such a beautiful way to start a poem. I love it...flawless :) *

While I'm gazing in your eye's
Fall to ash
World I despise
A new place born
A phoenix rise
My sanity is compromised

*I really like how you worded this. The syntax was creative too and made the poem very easy to read and understand. Your diction is also strong here.*

Your name, repeated from the time I was young
Forever remains on the tip of my tongue
Whenever we touch, the world is on fire
Together consumed by the flames of desire

*You have to let me know when you finish this!! It's so amazing and creative. Not my style really but I enjoyed reading it. I think you did a great job here. Keep writing hun. Nik*

WOW, I know you said it's incomplete but a part of me thinks that it is. Flawless in every way, 5/5. Em
P.s. if you think of anything to complete it then please let me know :)