Comments : Midnight Wonder

  • 14 years ago

    by cataclysmicSoul

    Although short, this is a great poem,
    i especially liked the lines
    "I don't know what the price is,
    but I fear I cannot match the cost."
    very well done 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    As I lay in bed with memory's of the past

    *memory's should be memories*

    this writer this poets hand will rest silent once more.

    *I would rewrite this to "this writer...this poet's hand will lay silent once more" Other than that I thought you did a nice job with this. It wasn't my favorite from you, but I do like how you talk about yourself anf what your going through in this. I think you wrote it well and used beautiful imagery. Nik*

  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very sad tale... and well penned... loved the flow of emotions... and imagery...

    //As I see the moon shinning my words on the floor
    this writer this poets hand will rest silent once more//

    ^^ I so loved these lines...
    but I felt the last sounds better like this :
    this writer, this poet's hand will rest silent once more
    just my opinion :)

    wonderful read :)

  • 14 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Assuming you are the persona/narrator, you definitely haven't lost your talent for writing.

    "The moon nestles amidst the clouds
    its shape grown full and its light shinning down."

    ^^ I like the word 'nestles' here. It gives off the impression that the moon is safe and secluded, comforted with the clouds and fitting in nicely; the exact way it should be.

    "All my thoughts I collect and ponder
    losing myself in a midnight wonder."

    ^^ This is really sweet. There's nothing amazing about it, but it's a simple little sentence that is beautiful to the ears.

    "I write to try and capture a talent I feel I have lost,
    I don't know what the price is,
    but I fear I cannot match the cost."

    ^^ This emphasises just how dear this talent is to the persona - as they fear they won't be able to capture what was once theirs, not knowing what the outcome of this will be. I can relate to this. Sometimes when I go through a "dry spell" in writing, I fear I won't be able to capture what I had and I worry where this will leave me.

    A wonderful piece, nicely done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Love Panda

    Freakin awsome honey.
    i love your work and i hope you know it.

    you have such a perfect way of expressing yourself. i dont think you could have done this poem better, its really good. i loved reading the words you used, they match the structure of the poem excellently.

    good job.

    ibe
    x

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    Such a sweet yet touching story about a 'talent lost' obviously I know you're talking about writers block and it's never easy. I love how you explain some of your heartachs and tell us that you want to write about these in your 'midnight wonder' but you just can't because your minds sort of frozen. Wonderfully written with alot of emotion, good job. 5/5, Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Of Sweet Insanity

    Wow, this is neat!
    I can totally relate...........
    This piece makes me really thoughtful.

    I enjoyed it all. I don't have any suggestions :P Great job.

  • 14 years ago

    by mandy

    The first line was a great opener.

    I like the idea of how you're writting about you're not being able to write. Oh, the irony.

    The ending was very smoothe, and left me satisfied; it was worth the read.

    Beautiful write, 5/5.

    mandy