I stand.

Who would of thought I could stand,
And not crumple yet again?
After my knees had buckled so many times?
And I fell over and over?

I thought I wasn't strong enough,
Too weak to keep trying.
The pain, the despair,
It was all I knew.
I'm ashamed to say I gave up,
Stayed down for so long.
I felt the hands, trying to tug me up,
And yet I would not stand.
I refused to.
I couldn't see the sun for the warmth it was,
Just the evil reminder of yet another day.
I couldn't see the beauty that I was,
Just the pathetic child to scared to end it.

My journey was slow,
It didn't happen over night,
It took effort to change my choices,
To grow up, to stand up.
But somehow I did.

Somehow I found the strength.
I couldn't sink any lower,
It couldn't get much worse.
A little bit here, a little bit there,
Somehow I slowly rose one last time.

I felt my heart and soul begin to heal,
I felt the sun on my skin,
And knew I would not fall again.
No matter how hard the wind blew,
I would stand tall.
Not forgetting the past, the pain, the darkness,
But embracing it as part of me,
Part of my growing history.

I did not need or want the hands at my side,
So ready to catch me,
Expecting me to fall.
But knew they were there if I asked for them or not.
That's love.
And while I stood on my own,
And keep standing on my own,
I see them, I thank them, I love them,
And I apologize.

I've grown; I've come out the other side,
And I see the destruction I caused,
As the small child I once was.
I'm not trying to explain,
To justify my actions,
But express my understanding.
And show I'm better now,
Complete and whole.

I see.
I won't forget.
I fell.
I stand.