Train in Thailand

I slump over in bed
Onboard a train in Thailand
Clutching at my heart
Trying to soothe its throbbing
I worry I am dying
But it is the pangs of heartache
I whisper your name
But before it leaves my lips
My lungs collapse
My fingers clench tightly
I hug myself, cringing
My face is tense and tears
Stream like a heavy waterfall
Steady is their salty cascade
As my mouth trembles
And snot forms at my nose
I wipe it away disgustedly
Leaning back with eyes closed
"----," I say it once more
This time my hands cover my face
Muffling the low moan
That rattles from deep
Within my heaving chest
Deep within my soul
I could not hold it in to save my life
My spirit drains itself from me
As I grab at nothingness in the dark
My chin droops to the side
Strength leaves and is no more
As breathing slows
Consciousness fails
Lapsing into dreams of you
Nightmares of losing you
My hand twitches longingly
For a moment, I feel your fingertips
I feel your hand slip into mine
And as I grab hold to never let go
You are gone
I am wakened from my sobbing
Lying sideways, your name once more
Assuming fetal position, I cry
I moan
I call for you
You do not come but sleep does
Tomorrow I wake and try to forget
Tonight I remember and try to believe