Comments : Fictitious Character.

  • 8 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Powerful and I would hate to be on the receiving end of these words if you actually spoke them to someone. The image of a face snarled in anger came to me as I read. Well done.

  • 8 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Rage comes to mind reading this :) Poisonous words.. like weapons injure and penetrate .
    Really well done, the words used and the emotion that emanated is excellent

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Such a powerful and strong release of words, your words really sent a shiver down my spine, you know how to make a point! Excellent job, keep it up!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 8 years ago

    by Cindy

    Temps
    I have to agree with Jommy I can feel the anger and rage in your words. Very powerful emotiiins are radiating from this piece.
    Excellent job!

  • 8 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    I liked this. There was alot of alliteration and that was fun to see. I think you used some clever word choices as well, which makes your poem more complex. I felt you wrote this very well. And you say you can't start a dark poem...you did and what a wonderful job you did with it. Great work Temps. Glad to see you writing more :) *hugs* Nik

  • 8 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    ^Invalid statements spew
    from thorny lips;
    I'm not as gullible as you
    believe; I see through those
    transparent falsities.^

    I have seen this relatable topic often the past couple weeks. I like the way you started with the dark imagery and I like the word choice.

    ^Hatred dripping from your
    dangerous fangs; a hint
    of jealousy you are
    unwilling to reveal.^

    It takes a good instinct sometimes to see through someone's facade.

    ^Pathetic attempts are
    executed drenched in
    drama; yet I know better
    to steer clear of this
    contagious disease.^

    I think almost everyone can relate to this because unfortunately I think we all know someone like this.

    ^A persona of a fool
    stands before me;
    a fictitious character
    weaved together by
    threads of immaturity. ^

    I absolutely love the ending. It is powerful and creative due to the word choice and your use of a metaphor.

    Excellent job!

  • 8 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    I dont think the category 'DARK' is suitable for this piece...it should have been under 'DARKEST OF DARK' :)

    I am trying to catch up with some great poems of our club today and so far all of them made me smile but this one made my mouth open wide....lolol

    Awesome...just loved the choice of words and the way emotions/anger/feelings...were expressed.

    Great write dear

    all the best and take care

  • 8 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A strong piece, very well written and expressed! Loved it. Great word choice, and very well put together. Excellent job :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Invalid statements spew
    from thorny lips

    I like the description in this line for it shows
    the character of a person, very good!

    weaved together by
    threads of immaturity.

    Another one that I like, threads of immaturity!..Good job!

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Congratulations Temps, what a well-deserved win!

    God bless you!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Congrats on the win, Temps.

    I am sure you did justice to the one you intended this for:)

    God bless:)

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 8 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats on the win :)
    Way to go girl!
    Love Cindy

  • 8 years ago

    by Samuel Dimafelix

    Every poem of you always make me wow!!
    your such a good poetic person...

  • 8 years ago

    by Countess of Monte Cristo

    This hit me right on the mark. I've seen this kind you speak of many, many times. You managed to get your point across without vulgarity.

    I like how your words were powerful, yet, classy. You kept it classy, and that's exactly why this poem impressed me. 5/5. Bliss..

  • 8 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    I love it, its to the point, hits where it has to hurt...

    amazingly written...

  • 8 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A powerful write... with excellent word choice! Just awesome.

  • 8 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    A powerful write... with great word choice. Just awesome.

  • 8 years ago

    by Emotiionsz

    With the first verse You STRUCK A GOOD CORD!

    Nice writing Skills I'm impressed and your poem is getting Favored maybe even u too lol Very Classic

    X Emotiionsz

  • 7 years ago

    by FindingHarmonyInYurCries

    I love your work.
    Its beautiful.

    5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by Lettredufront

    Nice written (: