Broken hearted

by Samuel Dimafelix   Oct 20, 2009


Heartache's venum
explosion of affection
collision of emotion
by sadness and depression

a bloody tears
vision of emptiness
painful story
written in the book of misery

*still incomplete... if you want to share your thoughts to complete this poem you can p.m. me thnx

-nightsan

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Pink Butterfly

    Please continue writing!!! I enjoyed reading it!!! You have the talent...Preserve it!!!

    -Pink Butterfly-

  • 14 years ago

    by Em

    I agree with Dixiedaisy and Lady Nik, it's beautiful as it is. Veyr powerful, 5/5. Em

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    I wouldn't change anything about this. It's pure emotions and that's what matters. I really enjoyed this piece. Keep it up hun. Nik

  • 14 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    I think it stands alone great just like it is. If someone else were to add to it then I believe that it would take away from the impact and flow you have in the poem itself. There are a few grammar mistakes but they are no big deal in the message. I think it is up to the write to convey their own message in their own way. Great Job,
    Kay

  • 14 years ago

    by cici89

    I like how you have the "by sadness and depression" at the end of the first stanza. Sounds really good. I will think and pm you if I can come up with anything

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