Captialize your (I's) please. I thought that you were trying to have a reason in your poem for not having capitialized (I's) but then I noticed that some were capitalized and it confused me.

Also if you wish to rhyme in a poem try keeping the same rhyme scheme throughtout.

Other than that I could see the potential in this poem.

So keep up the good work and live with a pencil in your hand.

>-Spirit->

Very sad but written well. 5/5, Em