Comments : Accepted that you've gone

  • 7 years ago

    by Stephanie Michelle

    "I want to turn back time
    but I know that I'm not able
    but without you,
    I'm tragically unstable."

    My favourite stanza. Beautifully written

  • 7 years ago

    by VeinsofHate

    Prefect in every way

  • 7 years ago

    by Katrina

    Very nice 5/5

  • 7 years ago

    by nmdoza

    Aww, alot of emotion in this piece. it was really touching. keep it up.

  • 7 years ago

    by Donna

    Oh that was so beautifull it made me cry. Such a true loss in your heart ... I felt your pain. well done

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Thank you very much :) xx

  • 2 years ago

    by WakingFreedom

    This has made me tear up. I have lost my Gram quite some time ago and what you have written has nailed it. A beautifully written piece with emotion and pain.
    It is hard losing those you love and I am sorry for your loss. You have written beautifully and I hope you keep writing.

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    What a beautiful poem it really touched my heart and reminded me of my Nan who passed many years ago.

  • 1 year ago

    by AngelaLuisaCory

    This is so sad. You portray that sadness so well. Really loved this piece

  • 1 year ago

    by Maher

    At the beginning, I though it was a typical break-up poem. Then, I felt bad about thinking that after learning that the loved one died. Now, I feel even worse knowing it was your grandmother! This poem speaks the words that people want to say when someone dear passes, but can't out of excessive sadness. Very sad, but in a beautiful way.

  • 1 year ago

    by Hellon

    This is a very sad write and it pulled on my heartstrings I will admit. I had a slight problem with the number of "I"s you used...most of which are unnecessary so perhaps a little editing would help make it read even better.

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you Hellon, I shall take a look.

  • 1 year ago

    by In love wid MRR

    Awesome emotions... The flow was smooth.. I Particularly liked this stanza so much

    You took that away from me
    when you died but it's not your fault
    that I stopped doing things I liked;
    that my life came to a halt.

    Deeply felt & Very well written

    5/5

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thank you for your comment

  • 1 year ago

    by Korede Kuks

    Whaoooooo...this is inspirational

  • 1 year ago

    by Kips

    Tossed my heart in a pool of wonderment! My God, this is deep! I'm sorry for your loss!

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks

  • 1 year ago

    by Bradley Peter

    Hello,

    The emotion of this piece was strong. I believe that was it's standout quality. Another aspect I enjoyed was some the rhymes you chose, like 'existent' and 'distinct', as well as 'fault' and 'halt'.

    However - and perhaps this was done purposely, to further express the pain and feelings of being unbalanced - I feel the flow lost it's rhythm in places.

    Regards,

    Bradley

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks for your honesty Bradley. It was meant to show how off balanced I was with the loss therefore relate to the reader that little bit more

  • 1 year ago

    by Nicolette

    Very well written, added to the favourites. :)

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Aww thanks.

  • 1 year ago

    by Ren

    Beautifully written with the intricate emotions of grief...but also intertwined with the promise of standing strong and moving forward to brighter days ahead.
    Well done, Em :)
    Take care!

    Love and light always,
    Ren

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks for your kind,words Ren

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    Outstanding

    • 1 year ago

      by Em

      Thanks Milly

  • 11 months ago

    by Everywoman

    Wow. This is really good. Especially the ending. Amazing job. Hats off to you :) Love how you owned your feelings and ended triumphantly

    • 11 months ago

      by Em

      Thank you

  • 11 months ago

    by Jenn

    Fantastic!
    I loved this, I mean it made me feel sad. Obviously grief over death is never easy, and this truly brought a tear to my eye.. made me think of my Grandfather's death last year..
    But the fact that it brought a tear to my eye is why I loved it. I felt Your emotions all through this, and I felt connected to You.

    First and Second Stanza's flow so well

    "Life without you
    seems so non existent.
    The memories we shared
    are so distant.

    I want to turn back time
    but know that I'm not able,
    without you,
    I'm tragically unstable."

    When You lose someone You are very close too, it strange how it's like they are fading away quickly.. and yet still You are stuck feeling like they cant really be gone. So contradicting that You practically shut down just to hold on to the fading memory of them. The color of that sweater that one day, or the sound of their laughed..

    I love that in the Third Stanza You expressed that You couldn't function, and You couldn't do things You enjoyed anymore.. but then in the Seventh Stanza when you start to return to normalcy You expressed that You knew the blame not lye with Nan. I could see the acceptance actually forming between these two stanzas.

    Ugh; I could go on.
    You did a really great Job and I enjoyed that this poem was expressed like an actual fair well letter to Nan.

    5. Jenn

    • 11 months ago

      by Em

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, appreciated.