For always, for keeps

by Jennifer Dziak   Dec 6, 2009


I remember the exact moment my heart began beating with yours,
the exact moment I succumbed to all fear,
The exact moment I fell in love with you.
It was June, the sun dancing across your face, the wind blowing your hair, wild, like fire.
And after a day of laughter, you held me in your embrace.
I was but 14, going on 15,
The time was 3:14 that afternoon, as you pulled me away from the clock
And into a safety and compassion I had not felt before.
It was this moment I melted, this is the moment I decided to give you my heart.

And you took it graciously, never reminding me how much control you had over me,
Never taking my love for granted as others had before.
You accepted every part of me, even the ever-growing sadness that devoured me. Your love pierced the emptiness, in a way nothing can ever replicate.

When you left Ohio, you took every living part of me with you.
Along with the changing leaves of that August, I changed.
I became hollow.
It was because of your continuing love I fought back.
And I found there was medicinal reasoning for the emptiness.
Finally at 16 years of age, I won
And after you returned, we became one again.
"too young to fall in love" was too trite for us, we could not be defined so.
However, your incredible love became our downfall.
Your love for you compatriot brought you to leave again,
And I understood the best I could.
I thought it best to let you go,
Stupid me.
I had filled the both of us with hurt.
Yet you managed, and you loved another,
and I am happy, long as she loves you above all, and forever.
At 19, and you at 21, we are adults and must live with our choices.
And as for me,
I await the day you return to me, for you still have my heart.
My love, you always have.
Love is a game I play for keeps.

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