Comments : White Paintbrushes

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This poem is a great explanation for why darkness must exist even in the purest emotion and spirit, to me

    well done

  • 14 years ago

    by KJ

    I believe you changed the title to this, and I must say that I like it much better than "White Paintbrush" or something of that nature. But this was another amazing right fellow poet. Though I have one suggestion:

    You can more appreciate

    ^^ I would change that line to:
    'You can appreciate more'
    it just sounds a lot better and less confusing. I read that line over twice.

    Overall, great job.
    5/5
    --Kay Jay

  • 14 years ago

    by Jerremy Newsome

    Great poem.. very uplifting and enjoyable. :) great job.

    Hayley N-

  • 14 years ago

    by HollyNichole

    I really love the flow of it. very nice

  • 14 years ago

    by Goodbye

    This poem has some piece of wisdom inside. For the ones who need some light colors, it may be useful.

    It is always a pleasure to read some something which have written with good spirit. I see too seldom this kind of poems.

  • 14 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    My dearest friend, don't be sad,
    your days of joy will come.
    Be grateful for your adversities
    here's a rule of thumb.

    ^the last line seems out of place for me. Hmm. Maybe "one" rule of thumb, instead of "a". Idk. It sounds off though.

    Think of hard times in your life
    and place them in a jar.
    let the blackness fill it up.
    remembering every scar.

    ^I think "remember" would be better.

    As for the rest, I couldnt find any problems lol. I loved the wording, very creative and you had great usage. You really painted a picture with some of the stanzas, which is something I adore in poetry. (: Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Lu

    I really enjoyed the flow and message within your lines. There is only one stanza that I found read awkward.

    You can now appreciate
    when happiness comes to you.
    In the contrast of this beautiful taint
    you've got to compare it to.
    ^^^
    This stanza I felt throws off the flow of the poem. It is as though when I tried to read through it, words stopped rolling off my tongue like they did in the beginning stanzas.

    I am not sure if you meant to leave a space between the 3rd and 4th lines in 2 of your stanzas ... but I found it also disrupted the flow.

    Loved the content and the message this piece holds. And quite a catchy title also. Really captures the readers attention.

    Wonderful uplifting read !

  • 14 years ago

    by PassingAngel

    I love the concept of your poem.

    "Take new pleasures as they come
    and judge their full appeal.
    The more hardship you've endured in life
    the better they will feel."

    That's my favourite part :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    I thought overall this poem was magnificent. The entire idea of it was really great and it wasnt cliche at all. Though i thought that some of the rhymes seemed a little off, and it flowed well expect for in one or two places.

    "This tainted murk you stir and stir.
    of times of toil and strife,
    stand laid across the canvas and
    the backdrop of your life."

    ^^ Personally this was the best stanza of the entire poem, it just really spoke to me.

    A well deserved 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Malboros pipe

    It is uplifting, with a subtle tone. Great title choice, very much suited the tone of the poem.

    Love it 110%

  • 14 years ago

    by Ray Smallshaw

    Had to smile at the end of this poem loved the finish.
    A long winded way to weigh up the bad in your life and look to the good which however little makes life worth living and if it does not always look optimistically to the future.
    An excellent poem with all that is good in a poem meter, flow and good poetic grammar.
    5/5 Ray S

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    This was a pretty unique topic I enjoyed how you wrote it. The flow was pretty good and the rhymes as well although in the 5th stanza taint and great don't really rhyme but its not worth giving you a 4 over. I agree that without some kind of hard times in life or defeat, you cannot appreciate victory. Great job 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by ilikepurple222

    Thank you for suggesting this one to me. it is very uplifting and hopeful. great job! :)

  • 13 years ago

    by Good Enough

    Thank you so much for referring this poem to me. i really loe this. it cheered me up a lot. omg the flow is flawless! keep up the good work :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Mello193

    Very true white canvas for black ink, white ink for black canvases, liked the metaphor of life to painting. very real. i think in a way all art comes from pain and you have transcribed this. i thought of this as maybe a higher being telling humanity the real reason for the pain. if that makes any sense. great job

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Perhaps my favorite poem by you. The message is just beautiful. The rhyes flowed really well. No critique at all :)
    Keep writing!
    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I like the rhymes on this one too, I also the color white. You are so right, we can use our white paintbrushes too!

    I think this poem has parts or all parts where someone can relate or find as their favorites, it's very well written. I really like it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Hi

    I am blown away in this poem love it

    BR
    Olecarsten

  • 3 years ago

    by Oceanloveisland

    As you know Randy, I love to paint. I Love the images that pop up for me when I read your words. All your poems have a tone them. I enjoy your style.