Alison part 1

This is so sweet. It's like telling of your love life with your lover.

This was a very beautiful poem, the wording was excellently chosen. Its a very powerful poem, image filled poem, I especially love the wording in this verse:

"Lavish dark chocolate toned hair,
Intelligent with a touch of arrogance,"

First I would like to comment that it was very clever to write an acoustic with her name.

"A mystical soul with intricate design,
Lavish dark chocolate toned hair,
Intelligent with a touch of arrogance,
Such cerise skin it is only but Fair.
Obstacles will avoid this beauty belle,
Near Venus She'll never tell."

First line: You automatically caught the reader into your description of this person and used grabbing but not over-used words.

Second line: This was a very poetic way to describe her hair, it gave me the images right away.

Third line: I liked the truth in this, how you portray her true-self, it creates a better understanding for your readers.

Fourth line: "cerise" I did have to look up online, because I am not familiar with the word, but once I did, it fit perfectly here.

Fifth line: When I read this line aloud, it flowed so smoothly on my tongue, nothing was forced and this whole stanza the flow is consistant.

Sixth: A thoughtful concept, this was a brilliant line.

"Cherished times with enchanted wines,
Affective in the eyes of love & lust,
Rappling through mazes of dark light,
Emerging maturity, Apex of Trust
You'll be my valentine tonight."

First line: Do not change a word in this line, I read this over and over again and it sounded perfect!

Second line: Good feelings availabe here.

Third line: Nice usage of "rappling", I am really into this poem more so than ever.

Fourth line: Loved how you worded this, it just started to sum up your lovely words.

Last line: I think this was a good statement to end on, after giving all of your views on her and describing her likes to the world, you say the one message for your heart you wish to send to her.

Beautiful work, I am sorry I do not have any suggestions, but you show an eminent talent for writing, never give that up.

God bless you!

~MA

I love the reference to Venus & using the poem with Valentine. That's pretty powerful stuff. Keep up the good work.

Oh My!!! This was amazing. You can ask anyone on this site I am the biggest sucker form some good diction and this piece is just pouring with slendid word choice. I love the way each line flows into the next and how deep your emotions are. Very nice piece :) Nik