Comments : The Rose

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    The simple structure and word choice delivers the sad theme as best it could. Sincerely I simply would not ask for more from a poem of this genre

    Thanks for sharing

  • 13 years ago

    by Bianca

    A little flower
    was all he gave her
    meant more than words
    it was she it was for
    ^ good start to the poem, it makes the reader want to go deeper into reading and makes them curious as to what happens with the flower and the girl and the entire piece as a whole. "It was she it was for" seems a bit off to me. It could just be me, I don't know.

    She loved him dearly
    with all her heart
    couldn't bear for
    them to part
    ^ Your stanzas are rather short, and yet, you seem to capture words in such a way where it doesn't have to be long. Amongst your few words, you express all that you need to say. Good job. (Rhyme seems good, not forced.)

    But he left her
    and she cried
    that was the day
    that the rose died..
    ^ "but he left her and she cried" seemed too.. widely used. it's not very original, but it brings together the impact with the rose dying and it rhyming in the end, so I'm not really sure too much on what to say or suggest there.

    Overall, a good poem. An enjoyable read. Short, but one of those that shows short can be good. (:

  • 13 years ago

    by Grunge Angel

    I took the liberty of looking at your past poems compared to more recent ones. You have come a long way in poetry, congrats. Despite the 4th line of the first stanza eing confusing, I felt that this poem was well written, for its breif nature.

  • 13 years ago

    by SolemnWish

    I think youd did really good with this poem. It was straight forward, unique, and sent a strong message that many of us can relate to. Your poetry is great, im a big fan :)

    I think the last line of the first stanza messed with me a little bit, i had to do a double take :/ It could be just me, idk.

    All in all, i like the shortness of it. Its unique, ive never done anything like this. So good job :D
    5/5