A time after Valentine.

A time after Valentine.

^^
I like this title; I wasn't really sure what I was to expect.

Chocolate hearts coupled with a amorous gaze.

^^
'a amorous' should be 'an amorous'

The most love drunk of all holidays.

^^
Loved this line, maybe laugh a little the way it was worded, kind of beautiful but mischievous too. (: An the rhyming and flow was absolutely spot on with these first two lines.

Raging hormones that just don't quit.
So many emotions that don't quite fit.
Like a song played on the wrong instrument.

^^
I liked the line:
"So many emotions that don't quite fit"
It rings true - we tend to put aside all our drama for the holiday - whatever holiday that may be, in this case Valentine's Day - because that day is expected to be filled with love and happiness. But it's all just a facade, a mask put on for one day.
I'm not sure if "instrument" was meant to rhyme with 'quit' and 'fit' - it's not a perfect rhyme that's for sure..

Like most holidays you're rushed in line.
To find flowers if you have the time.
It's meant to show that you love someone.

^^
In my opinion, if you only choose that one day to show that love, then it's just a materialistic affair isn't it? Love is not meant to be about the materialism but rather the emotions and this holiday is just a money-making scheme for shops (florists mainly). True love doesn't need a day a year to show how much two people care for each other.

A smirk a touch a kiss, then you go and it's done.

^^ Meant to be a commas in between 'a smirk a touch a kiss' like 'a smirk, a touch, a kiss' and remove the one after 'kiss'

Out of three six five days you only choose one?

^^
The three six five days was a little confusing a first just because of the way it is written - it's a good idea, but needs to be formulated better.

24 hours dedicated to changing her to hun?
A year is far too short and I'm far too young.

^^
The second line - I don't feel it has much purpose in the poem. I think it's only been added as a rhyme support for the former line..? Just my opinion, perhaps it holds more meaning to you, the writer.

When i die is when it ends, when i breathe is when it begun.

^^
The tense in this line is different from beginning to end. Needs to be revised. Also watch the 'i' - needs to be capitalised in both instances.

We're not held by a day or a change in the season
We can hate anyone, love for any reason

^^
These two lines, especially the latter, are simply superb!! So very true.

We spread to one another like an infection.
Question each other and make us look in our reflection.

^^
The second line is out of sync in a noticable way with the flow. Perhaps: remove the 'and' and add a comma instead. That would at least help anyway.

And contemplate telling our natural affection.
A lively sense of humor that's always varied.
And just because we get along doesn't mean we should be married.

^^
This last line is a little too long - consider revising or perhaps breaking it into two lines.

I don't need a designated holiday to tell me the proper way to show that i care.

^^
Again, this line is a little two long, consider revising it or separating it into two lines.
Perhaps: remove 'to tell me the proper way' - that will shorten it quite significantly.
Your choice though.

I sat down thought hard and took it in prayer.

^^
Perfect line! There's actually quite a bit of imagery here.. I picture you pacing around in thought then sitting, then standing in agitation and finally praying. LOL

I wrote this a day late but not by mistake.
So you know when you read this, it isn't fake.

^^
These lines show your true feelings towards Valentine's day even without the rest of the poem to back it up. There simple and sweet. Also, the rhyming and flow is spot on.

The day after Vday when the world returns to hating each other.

^^
To me, this line seems a little too long again..

This poem is a reminder so you don't forget your brother.

^^
'BRother' makes me think you're writing this to your sister? Which the poem doesn't imply until now. I think you have used this simply to rhyme - the word 'lover' could also work, but obviously it depends who you're writing this to or directing it towards.

Three six five days, one chosen to revere. The only day i can have a break in the year.

^^
Need to break these two lines up - I think you intended to but just haven't...

No hugs must be given, you're already near. Keeping me close as the others leer.

^^
Again, I think you intended to break these two lines up, make them separate but perhaps the 'Enter' key wasn't being very cooperative.
A whole earth jealous cause we stepped out of line. And choose to stay close a time after Valentine.

^^
Once again, comment same as above.
Also, I think 'choose' should be 'chose' - sounds better that way anyways. Perhaps a typo, I don't know.

And it'll be that way for the rest of forever.

^^
There's nothing wrong with the line, but it doesn't really have the impact that most parting lines do. Something witty regarding the uselessness of Valentine's day would be great. But really, your choice.
______________________________

OVERALL;
Not a bad right. I like (and totally agree with) your idea that Valentine's day is a day of fake love - when everyone puts on a facade because that is the expectation..

The flow and rhyme was not bad - there were a few places where it was a bit rocky, that I mentioned above.

Also, your punctuation. I have corrected some, but a big issue is the constant ending of a line with a fullstop. Some lines need to run together more smoothly and therefore need commas or semicolons at the end of the line. Revise this and it will be a big improvement.

Other than that, a really great write. 5/5

Oh, also I was curious as to why you placed this in friendship poems - perhaps try 'Special Events' or 'Love' or maybe even 'Life' - more likely the first. I don't think it really fits in the 'Friendship' folder.

This was cute. Enough said. I got lost but thats probably my lack of concentration. well done. fabulous:) mouse xx

5/5. i agree that you should work on your punctuation. anyway, good job :)

This is bold and showing that you don't back down for anything when you know how you feel about something or someone. Great stuff.

Again, you should work on your punctuation. it's distracting. but i also liked this one. i personally, don't like valentine's day. i prefered the other one, but this was also very well written. good job and keep up the great work. :)