Gods Prayer

by Brittany   Feb 15, 2010


I thought you were different,
But your not.
im not a warrior anymore,
Im giving up.
Don't tell me what I want to hear,
just to keep me at bay,
Because to me, words don't mean anything till you mean what you say.
Im not going to fight or kick or even curse,
I wont be the the reason this relationships gets worse.
Ill build my walls and confine myself,
Then Ill pray that God keeps you out of Hell.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Lori

    Its really sucks when you put your all into a relationship and get absolutly nothing in return. It hurts and you cuts you down. It's great we all have this site because when things like this happen to us, we can sit down and write about it and sometimes it really feels great.

    You did an excellent job expressing your emotions in this piece. It has nice revealing details about the pain and all the bull you have put up with. Also the main base of the poem has a creative and unique touch to it.

    The only real problem I see, is the flow.

    "just to keep me at bay,
    Because to me, words don't mean anything till you mean what you say."

    that threw me off a bit because it didn't flow as easy like the rest of the poem did. So, what I suggest is maybe reading it aloud sometime and if it sounds like it doesn't sound right, it probably isn't the best choice. :)

    Aside from that, I loved this piece and I respect it because I think everyone has has this problem or something like it.

    Never stop writing! You're great at it :)

    5/5