Wake up

I am praying it was a nightmare.
my chest was cut into lines.
nothing was sent of a message.
but it appeared that way.

my hands shake when I notice
that I held the blade.
In my mind, I was not thinking right.
As I the one who actually has done this?

I try to cover it up.
makeup t-shirts and such.
but everyone knows I wear tank tops.
to many crosses, in and out.

tonight I must have to repeated my nightmare.
over and over I swear I wouldn't do that again.
but something came over me.
to see another light that is dark.

I try to run for help.
the first ever but know one is around.
I am alone with just a blade with my blood.
I could not shake the image out of my head.

you got to be kidding, this has not happened.
I am losing it all together.
praying again, wishing that the scars are not real.
I can not deal with this again.

I have survived
who said I could do it again.
personally, I can not.
wake up wake up, I tell myself.

I look around my room.
a few lights are shaded.
I check my clock 5:25 a.m.
I check my chest, nothing to appear.