Comments : Moments so cold, the stars shivered.

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Hey Tabi!

    What a beautiful poem you have written:)
    I can feel the pain in your words and you are able to truly make me feel this cold and yes, I have felt it too many times in my life. It chills you in ways no cold weather ever could...

    Emotions betraying, stabbing you in the back.
    What was just adoration now is argument.
    Feelings and intentions are misconstrued,
    Nothing is understood as it was meant.

    ^^

    When it reaches this point, it is beyond repair.

    Very well written, honest and sincere, just like you, lil missy:)

    Love ya!

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 14 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    No, I disagree. It is not beyond repair. What we have here is an excellent snapshot of an evening that has cratered and carried over to angry sleep. Emotions are caught like a frozen wave. Use the insight gained in reflecting to go beyond the hurt, reach compassion, and accept your own portion of the cause. No one is right here, but everyone is victimized.

  • 14 years ago

    by Lesbian Natalie

    5/5... This poem is about like what I am going threw... I know how you feel...

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Its funny how easily "love" can just end and it happens so often. I never understood why people who argued so much and had nothing in common ever stayed together in the first place. Its almost as if couples just look for things to fight about. The poem was excellent and really described most relationships I believe. I thought the title was very interesting and unique and the flow within the poem was great as well. Nicely done 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    I absolutely love the title, that's what made me stop to take a look, but I think you could do some reworking in your lines, some of it seems forced and it didn't flow into the rhyme well. I like the basis, as it is a subject I think most of us can relate too, but the flow was off for me.

  • 14 years ago

    by MERCY is never shown

    "The way he is acting during this fight
    makes my aching heart quiver."

    i like this cuz it really shows how one sided we see things during a fight with someone we care about

    "Looks and words presented so emptily.
    Moments so cold, the stars shivered."

    this was my favorite line cuz i know that feeling all to well and the sensation it brings is so wrought with undetected feelings it makes you sick wich you captured well in this poem in was short and to the point which some people prefer its all a matter of the reader its simply a glimpse at the night which kinda leaves you to play out the rest in your head but you did a great job!!

  • 14 years ago

    by Brittany

    You are really good.
    Thast poem right there is wht everyone should read the word choice and quality is amazing :]
    keep writing
    i rlly rlly liked this
    vote 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Good poem. The flow was great and you used a great variety of word.
    5/5