Wow...really deep and i liked the twist at the end even though it was sad. but i enjoyed it. great detail and emotion. lovely job!

victoria

Punctuation is a bit weird. it makes it a bit difficult to read sometimes. you could also spread out the lines so that its not so choppy sounding. try reading it out loud and use commas when you need to take a breath.

you had an interesting message. but if you want people to understand it, you gotta be a bit more organized. the creativity and ideas are there. you just need to clear it up a bit

I agree with the comments above. Some of the grammar errors make the flow sound kinda of. But overall I think you have great potential.

Nice poem shisana

Wooooow great job Shisana , your words definitely hit hard. i really love this one
Nicely written 5/5

My tears arn't tears,
there fear's deep lost
in space.
"my dear,mydear,come
here" is all i hear.
- I think you mean 'their', its in your first 3 stanza's as well.

the way you wrote "my tears arent tears" at the begining of your first 3 stanza's were quite powerful.

I didnt really like the longer of the stanza's that you had. It seemed a little out of place to me. There were also a few places where i had to re read it a few times to actually get what you meant, but i think its the way you punctuated it.

Overall still a very good piece! the emotion conveyed through this was still strong, and it was still an enjoyable read!

Poetry is an art and though I am sure many may think this poem leaves much to be desired I think it prbably did what you meant for it to do ..thati s ...express your disapointment in you own original style

I dont wana say what or hjow this poem would be better..im gna talk about the concept..tho u can do it a lot more deeper but.. let me be honest too :
yyour msg is received..well done

ur title is catchy..i wanted badlyt o knw at u meant by ur years are not tears..

5/5 i hope u dont realy feel this ssadness i catch in ur words

Wow really good. This one took me on an adventure. I really liked how you ended the poem with the first three lines of the beginning.
The punctuation was a little hard to read at times. However really good overall :)

Very good and hard hitting with emotion i liked it a lot def one of the best ive read

I liked it..it's deep and filled with emotion... 5/5 =D nice work..

So cool. You could put this one to music. "Fears lost in deep space." My favorite part.