Let us not die peacefully

by abracadabra   Sep 7, 2010


Let us not die peacefully.

Let us not leave
silently, head
shakingly, shoulder
shruggingly, hearts
sighingly. Sombre holy water,
sprinkled over those

ashy kisses on our mouths
from campfired marshmallows
while we watched the night sky
turn towards the sea,

would do little.
Snuffed candles would not conceal the

four moles on your neck
Jenkins, Harlow, Bertie, Blob.

Let us die like the day,
glorious and blinding.

Let us die like demons,
bloody and snarling,
heroic and doomed.

Please, let us die
like galaxies, flashing
with the explosions of stars,
blowing themselves apart.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    OFFCOURSE u won..congratulations and no bet I expect another achievement..

    anything is possible with u.. "abracadabra"

  • 7 years ago

    by Nicko

    A brilliant write girl..! and that has nothing to do with us being in the same club. I agree with the above comment, you are a poets poet,
    Your poems have always been a joy to read and this poem deserves much attention, It is not full of unneeded flowery metaphors yet has such depth and passion. What helped make this poem so good for me was the naming of the 4 moles, Jenkins, Harlow, Bertie, Blob, It gives the poem so much more humanity, personalized (if that makes sense, which it probably doesn't, but I know what I mean...).It made me laugh and brings the reader closer to you, that we can almost see those moles.....Anyway i'm starting to dribble.....
    Congrats on your win its way overdue..

    Nicko

  • 7 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    I have never read anything by you, Abby...I am glad I became a judge and made myself a promise to read all poems on the list, for I like what I am reading!

    Let us die like the day,
    glorious and blinding.

    Let us die like demons,
    bloody and snarling,
    heroic and doomed.

    Please, let us die
    like galaxies, flashing
    with the explosions of stars,
    blowing themselves apart.

    ^^^
    Amen to that! I like the fire inside of you, that makes you write these words. You are a poet's poet:)

    Excellent work,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 7 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Ok for some reason I interpret the repeated stanza 'let us die..' in a way such that to die means to make love. Perhaps to make love without reproducing is a certain kind of death. But I know you're looking at what I'm writing like I'm crazy :)
    A little more awkward and befuddling than your usual writes, but as always - good stuff.
    To die... Hmmmm.. death of the relationship?

  • 7 years ago

    by Jad

    I really liked the way you came about this poem as in the style in which you wrote it. I could feel the emotions throughout the poem beating within each line as I read.

    "Let us not leave
    silently, head
    shakingly, shoulder
    shruggingly, hearts
    sighingly. Sombre holy water,
    sprinkled over those"

    This one part in the poem was so outstanding. The imagery and sadness pours from this line so beautifully. Good job and keep writing.