Comments : Half Of Grief Or Further

  • 13 years ago

    by Kuro

    How paralyzed is you love
    At the sill of my door
    I am the smallness of the wait
    And the less of the more

    did you mean:
    "How paralyzed is YOUR love"?

    How old is my hair
    How pale is my eye
    I am the lack of the care
    And the getter of the bye

    in the 3rd line here, it might sound better if you said "I am the lack of care". i'm having trouble understand this stanza i think. 0_o; im not how to interpret "The getter of the bye". but i see that it matches the previous line on purpose so it cant be a grammatical error.

    Is it a god rude
    Or a fate lewd
    Cursing my destiny
    Of poverty glued

    i really liked this stanza. trying to look at this more artistically, the stanza as a whole says more than each individual line.

    What is it to die
    What is it to live
    My life is losable
    Fading in the whiff

    this another good stanza.

    And if past the times
    The fields and limes
    My grief remains
    At the thorns of rhymes

    this overall... was a bit hard to understand the earlier lines at the beginning. but as i read it got easier. and i can relate to it in my own way. but in the end, through all the emptiness and sorrow, you found the same thing i did. and many of us have also found... through our poetry, our grief will remain and continue to medicate our thoughts and give us some small sense of satisfaction that we so often times deny ourselves through various means.

    well done, and thanks for sharing

    ~Kuro