Comments : Lies Untold

  • 13 years ago

    by Ingrid

    TJ,

    It takes so much courage to tell a person that you lied, only the very strong can do that. When someone truly loves you, they forgive you. I hope you will be forgiven also, I wish nothing but the best for you!

    Beautifully written, straight from the heart.

    Hang on in there, son, I will keep them crossed for you.

    *hugs*

    5/5 your friend Ingrid

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    It does take a lot of courage to say to the
    person you love that you lied...I too hope that
    everything will work out for you...take care.

  • 13 years ago

    by Jad

    TJ, like Ingrid said it takes a load of courage to tell the one person you truly love that you lied to them. And as she said they will forgive you, or at least should, for being so brave to tell them instead of this other person finding out some other way. Aside from that you had some good imagery in your piece with a good flow. Good job and keep writing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sylvia

    There is not much I can add to the comments that have been made. The sad thing is that sometimes we do not find that courage to say to the one we love, I lied. Well done.

  • 13 years ago

    by Ronald Edwards

    Ah the breaking of trust and the asking of forgiveness. That silence can leace you cold , that look can pierce the soul, that lie can take its toll. Outstanding write TJ I can very much relate, well done, thanks for sharing.

  • 13 years ago

    by Kuro

    Wow... this was a very visual poem. the rhyme made it flow nice. and the end, was the clincher. after i read it i was like ..."WAIT! what?" then i had to re-read it.

    i suppose the most powerful messages are the unspoken ones that you can only learn to understand with experience.

    this left me thinking long after i finished reading it. and i love poems or other forms of writing that do that. very thought provoking indeed.

    well done. the only thing i have against this poem is that i will be thinking about it for a few days...

    ~kuro

  • 13 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    So....what happened???

    ;~)

  • 13 years ago

    by kelleyana

    Very creative.
    "Leaves danced around my feet
    to the music of winter winds
    A diamond studded velvet sky
    gave chance to make amends."
    I always like reading your poems. Very well done as usual, kel.

  • 12 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    "Silence of the unspoken word
    left me breathless by her side
    would I be forgiven once
    I told her that I lied."

    That is the perfect ending to something that starts out so heartfelt and emotion filled. It just really makes you question a lot after you read it and leaves the reader wanting to read more of your fabulous work.

    5/5

    -Heather

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Wow this is an amazing piece. Its so short but it says a lot. The end was stunning and the word choice was brilliant. I think this piece is absolutely wonderfully written. Excellent and 5/5