Comments : Tomorrow's Yesterday.

  • 13 years ago

    by TSI25

    I rather liked the message of this poem, ive got to say, it seemed to boil down to "time goes on."
    everything starts and ends, sure, and we need to make good use of our time but in order to do that we need to realize the value of "now" and disregard looking at it in relation to the future or the past. a very good message, over all it seemed to use a lot of words, but thats just my style speaking

    Time is a mystery born to tell the tale
    Of what is no more, and things that prevail
    Many philosophers have had the driving urge
    To find out where opposites meet and merge

    i really like this stanza, but you should streamline it, try to make it 10 syllables per line or so, maybe,

    Time is a mystery born to tell (the tale is implied)
    Of what is no more and, things that prevail
    Often scholars have kept a driving urge
    To find out where opposites meet and merge

    (this is just my interpretation and how i would do it, it could be entirely not what you mean and it is completely my style disregard it if youd like)

    "My Dear Friends as You Pass By
    As You are Now, So Once Was I.
    As I am Now, You Soon Must Be.
    Prepare Yourselves to Follow Me."

    ^^^
    This is brilliant, did you write it? even if you didnt its use here is extremely compelling

    you should keep writing, you definitely have talent

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    MICH...she was right ..U was the only poet to realize yesterdays tomorrow is today !!

    SUCH a very wise piece, I REALy admire it ..the word choice and the flow ..
    THE mystery in your words yet the msg behind..
    INdeed you master it when you want!

    Time is a mystery born to tell the tale
    Of what is no more, and things that prevail
    ^^^VERY true..very wise!! I have no idea how u wrote that

    Soon the future will arrive to become the past
    ^^^I love it..perfectly worded

    Creating for us all the dreams that somehow last
    ^^^INSPIRING !

    Though the seasons will come and then they will go
    >>i find it better like
    Though seasons will come and seasons will go
    Will there always be something left behind to grow?
    ^^^SUCH a gr8 question after the line b4 it..u have such a talent! I LOVE THIS

    To turn once again yesterdays to tommorrows today
    ^^^tommorrows should be tomorrows //typo

    I thought yesterday, tomorrow I will think
    About all of the things written in ink
    Words that nobody would claim to own
    Like the ones I've read on a tombstone.
    ^^^^^this was a veryyyyyy wise stanza..esp wen u as on a tombstone and chose one of his BEST stanza..which fits to urs 1000 %

    i think this is a brilliant work..INDEED 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by The Princess

    ''Knowing tomorrow's yesterday is not cliche
    It is so much easier just to say today''

    Those lines really stood out for me, Micheal. it's like we always take the easiest road. that we do not think about things as what they really are but rather the normal stereotypical way. we do not analyze, we do not overlook. we just go with the flow. I think it also may imply that one just lives the moment and does not look to the future, I mean if you think of the moment you are in as something that will lead you to another thing, as in a yesterday that will lead you to your tomorrow, then you'd not waste it or take it for granted. I could of course go on like this till tomorrow. as I said, a very rich thought and it does makes one think.

    ''Tomorrows come where yesterdays are found
    Nothing is lost when our world turns around''

    I don't think the first line here was needed to be honest, it's like an explanation for the first two lines. and the second line seems to be more for the rhyming than the message. if it has some other meaning I'm not grasping though do clarify. please.

    I also think to a point the over usage of words as tomorrow through out the poem and yesterday were a bit.. distracting? though the message through out the whole piece and the powerful end did make it for me somehow.

    at some point I also thought the rhyming was a bit forced as well, Micheal.

    but I loved loved loved the last stanza. so though this is not your best by all means, it does have the kind of wisdom and way of words that seems to make your work stand out. very thought provoking nonetheless.

    much respect.

    P.S. I may be awfully wrong. I am not at all able nor do I have the knowledge to critique, so most of those are just point of views and thus vary from one person to another.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Jeee it would seem that everyone else has left you long comments...well I'm gonna keep it simple :] I've always been a fan of your work. I enjoy how simple they are and the messages you leave in them. This was a beautiful piece and I enjoyed what you had to say. Keep it up. Nik.

  • 13 years ago

    by H. Elizabeth

    Ohh, I just think this is wonderful. I love the message this poems gives and I LOVE the part where you typed, "Seconds increase to minutes, and then the minutes to hours
    Hours to days, weeks to months, the years have powers,". That is so TRUE. Every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year is precious.

    AMAZING work =)

    --Hannah

  • 13 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    BEAUTIFUL! And brilliant...

  • 13 years ago

    by Maverick

    Wow, this is impressive. I love the usage of yesterday and tomorrow throughout the piece. I really liked the line "Tomorrows come where yesterdays are found". And of course I loved the insert of the tombstone quote because it fits so well but it's also just a great quote in and of itself. Your poem really set it up well though it was a great end. I also really liked the stanza about time and how philosophers have tried to figure things out and just how trivial time really is and everything that we as humans wonder about. And yet time goes on. You have a gift with words and especially with poetic syntax. Not a thing really seems out of place. Well done sir.

  • 13 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    This poem really goes with the flow. Each stanza gives a subtly great as to what's coming and is wonderfully put. 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by A F

    Nice. I like it. 5/5. Rhymes are great too. And the last part really moved me. Keep it up!

  • 13 years ago

    by A F

    Nice. I like it. 5/5. Rhymes are great too. And the last part really moved me. Keep it up!

  • 13 years ago

    by kelleyana

    You are such a gifted and talented poet/writer. I enjoy your poems so much. There are times it makes me pause for a while... and think , then go on. Very well done, kel.

  • 13 years ago

    by january friend

    I like how you found so many ways to basically say "yesterday's tomorrow is today". this poem never got old, it's the perfect length. though the last two stanzas are definitely my favorite.

  • 13 years ago

    by Corpseful

    Over all it was really great the last two Parts were my favorite 5/5. Definitely gonna read more of your work.

  • 13 years ago

    by H E Losey

    I rated this as Excellent due to the story line which I thought is that good.
    I Felt the flow could have been better but this could be due to the vocabulary not being conducive to fluidity.

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Michael!! I'm speechless.... this poem is phenomenal and really touched me.

    First, I loved your play on the words 'yesterdays' and 'tomorrows' .. the way you wrote the past, present in future in this way was unique and more interesting than just saying the past for ex. I loved the style of this poem, overall it was just so beautiful to read. I was really touched and moved by you words.

    I absolutely loved everything about this poem, but I must say these were my favorite stanzas that were so deep and really moved me:

    Time is a mystery born to tell the tale
    Of what is no more, and things that prevail
    Many philosophers have had the driving urge
    To find out where opposites meet and merge

    Soon the future will arrive to become the past
    Creating for us all the dreams that somehow last
    Though the seasons will come and then they will go
    Will there always be something left behind to grow?

    Seconds increase to minutes, and then the minutes to hours
    Hours to days, weeks to months, the years have powers,
    To turn once again yesterdays to tomorrows today
    How else could it be now, is there any other way?

    --- I love the questions, they were really thought-provoking and as the reader, made me analyze my life and the past/present/future...

    I really like poems about time/past/present/future because it has so much meaning, and it's all about how you live your life, what paths you choose, and it just really makes one think.

    I really love this poem. Amazing! A true masterpiece :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Thanks for all the wonderful comments

    These are the critique given when I entered a PQ contest10 points(7+2+1):
    Tomorrow's Yesterday.

    "The most interesting part was the end quote, which unfortunately is original to tombstones, and not the author."

    "Though there was a lot of fluffy content to wade through and the lines were laboured, I have to credit for the honest sentiment and effort behind this poem."

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Dang. This piece is excellent. Though so much has already been said, I don't see anything else that I could add to be new. But amazing write, and very interesting piece.

  • 12 years ago

    by East Poetry

    DEEP....AMAZING...POWERFUL.

    I'm speechless

    if you weren't already om my "favorites"
    poets list, you'd be so again and again.

    whats your Zodiac sign?

  • 12 years ago

    by Jon914

    Nice

  • 11 years ago

    by DeviousCharmer

    Loved the title. i like that it is very deep.