Comments : Ancient Landscape (Tanka)

  • 13 years ago

    by Cindy

    NIce job on the Tanka.

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    This is beautiful.
    A very creative imagination;
    I love the word choice and the way you used
    your vocab.

    I love tankas and now bet you did a great one..

    Exalted: beauty...
    ^^this was kind of classical you know..
    loved the 1st line..exalted gave it elegance.

    murmuring via the wind,
    ^^?I love the word murmuring; and reminds me
    of the river's ripple.. especialy through the wind its just very peaceful and poet.

    However I am not fond of using " via"
    not i know that the S.count would make you stuck but it realy spoiled the line..

    creating music.
    ^^well i feel like this line gave it more un-needed details..since murmuring through the wind makes it clear.. but i did not mind it as a reader (just giving you my point of view)

    Drawing vivid images
    to be consumed by the eye.
    ^^i love the vivid images part; very well said. I love the usage of consumed; althought it was as well detailing the line before it.

    Like if you find more images to add rather than that..would be like perfet

    however as it is now; sure hits excellence

    I love your work
    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I love it when I can get to the debth of nature without having to wade through a sea of words ..this is beautiful

  • 13 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    Frist of all thank you for introducing me to this type of poetry as I have not come across it before. Secondly I would like to praise your write and give you the full 5/5. A short poem yes but still very well written and enjoyable to read