Comments : Whatever doesn't kill you

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    Norhan
    Great job on this piece. Wonderful imagery you have created for the reader. Sometimes we never really understand people and the thnigs they do.
    Take care
    Cindy

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Nor this poem was really very unique and
    truly well written.
    I love everything about it; especially the
    amazing twists and the coups of the
    stanzas.. Had your points made in a
    very impressing way.

    But the title lacked the real connection
    between it and the poem; did not really fit. But
    I know it's for the contest and forced..so ya.

    for I feared not
    the rage
    of the seven seas
    ^^
    I almost forgot about 7 seas lol; but
    the poem reminded me and I shook my head
    as I read this..
    Indeed who won't question the sanity of someone
    who fears not the anger of the 7 seas?
    Despite how profidious that can be..distructive..

    nice-

    ...meteors,
    should either chew on
    the hem of my dress
    or on my heart
    ^^^
    WHAT an imagination.. I love the image over here..
    how amazingly said..I loved the expressions that you have used.
    I love how you used Chew..yes servers your aim amazingly.
    Very creative and shows how strong andd how confident this
    charecter in your poem is..

    I questioned
    their sanity
    ^^nice twist.

    for they always hid
    behind curtains and in
    key holes,
    ^^^
    in key holes ? I am no bet
    adding the poem to my favorites..and sorry
    I am out of votes for the weekly contest..But this can wait
    ..I just love your words..shows the difference between the 1st
    persons personality and theirs..simply amazing and
    reflects how they call sanity "where you are safe" and "hiding"
    ..but only you know how much fun and Reality they are missing?..

    thought provoking,
    sheltering
    their precious feet
    from the wetness of the ocean
    and fearing the strike
    of a star

    ^^^that's exactly whaat I meant..
    they are missing what they are fearing...
    I sometimes feel that way too..
    I hide as well..in a way and another
    but if I saw what ever that I am aiming at
    it would be too personal..but I can relate..
    I miss some stuff which I fear.

    Good job..

    We never really understood each other
    ^^this sums up how they questioned your sanity
    and why you questioned theirs..

    for where I pondered whether to wear
    the sun; a bracelet around my wrist,
    or a comb in my hair
    ^^AMAzinggggggg image.. I so would love
    to see that lol..it's so elegant and poetic.
    I loved it..yet let me say what I loved
    from the "profound" side..

    it was the courage and how impressing
    the difference is..ya3ne ma ba3ref
    sho bade elek bas fe3laaaaaan
    ra2e3aaaa!
    atalteene b e5er part.

    5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Whatever Doesn't Kill You
    Makes You Stronger

    and this is so strong a piece that I, at 65, am transported back to the time and the particular quality of turbulence that was at the center of my own powerful adolesence...
    reminding me that I am, indeed, grateful to have been,
    and grateful to be,
    who I am..

    Penetrating insights, concisely, imaginatively, delivered..

    applause....Good Show!

  • 6 years ago

    by The Prince

    Not sure about the title -- was it for a contest? Anyway.

    First off, I love the subtleties in your poems, Nor. Your poems are entertaining enough to read several times, which is great because it takes a few reads to really soak in the language you use.

    I liked the swap of 'they questioned' and 'I questioned' it was semi-humorous (which probably wasn't your intention) but I'm not criticising you for it.

    'for I feared not
    the rage
    of the seven seas
    nor the falling of
    a thousand meteors,
    should either chew
    on the hem of my dress
    or on my heart'

    What I got from this poem was a juxtaposition of things this persona was not afraid of (not paranoid) you draw attention to being unafraid of obvious 'natural disasters' (meteors/seas) which I took to represent a carefree outlook on life.

    'They' seemed to represent the people that surrounded you and their collective paranoia. 'Sheltering their feet' and 'fearing a falling star' I guess fear is a place to live isn't it? Sheltered and unable to enjoy life? The sunglasses image at the end made me think again of people being 'hidden' from their surroundings, the sun, in particular. The persona, here, sounded very relaxed.

    Delving deeper into what you've written, it seems your images are more universal than they seem on first glance. More relative to humans in general than just the persona.

    The constant references to the 'sun' are intriguing. It's deserving of more reads, so maybe my interpretation will be different next time around, hey? :)

    I

  • 6 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Congrats on the win! Lovely and thought provoking....love the last verse...wearing the sun....very imaginative!

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    Norhan
    Congrats on your win!

  • 6 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Ahh, this is the poem that won in the wild card round that my arrogant self thought would win, but you swooped up and snatched the shiny trophy from my clenched fists! A well deserved win I have to admit. It's a simple poem (elegantly utilizing the prompts) with creative imagery that is apparent in most writers who are fluent in more the one language. "Foreign" poets bring something fresh and crisp to the table, and you're no exception.
    Excellent use of enjambments and line breaks, and there is fluidity and connection in the story presented from beginning, middle, to end.
    Keep being you, even if it annoys the hell out of some people (:P), because your strong spirit shines through in your written words :)
    I'm a fan.

  • 6 years ago

    by Stephy

    I like the poem...It's interesting

  • 6 years ago

    by Mermaids Lullaby

    Wow your style is really unique; I'm impressed. I feel like your words just reached out to me in a way. I could visualize your words as I was reading them. 5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    Without a doubt the most brilliant piece I have read in a long long time, and most definitely one of the finest poems on this forum.

    Awesome work. Keep it up. And keep writing.

  • 6 years ago

    by silent turbulence

    Without a doubt the most brilliant piece I have read in a long long time, and most definitely one of the finest poems on this forum.

    Awesome work. Keep it up. And keep writing.