Comments : Young Argument

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    But I hear echoes of my youth,
    And know you'll survive this fire.
    ^^^
    this was really creative..
    and from the begining of your poem, I have been hearing this calming guiding voice..through your word..

    and sounds as if you are sending a lesson due to an experience..yet in a very well worded way/

    and this last stanza along with the above lines..are my favorites

    Make space, chill out, do whatever
    Needs to be done for next day;
    But heed this: when he comes back,
    Just hug; words will get in the way.

    ^^^
    change the semicolons to commas..
    however this was such a great thing to teach us..as readers..
    a very truthful worded stanza larry..

    well done

    5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    This was a beautiful piece. Very well directed and with golden advice. In my opinion: its easy to give advice but hard to make it so effective...you did it perfectly.
    Great write

    all the best and take care