Comments : Hummingbird

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    When finches and crows and sparrows laugh,
    when how I pursue to be as past.
    ^Most interesting part for me.

    The rest of the poem was kind of too complex for me personally, not sure why. Some words I had to look up. I think when you have such a short poem like this it's better to use simplicity. At least with this here, as you kind of shadowed the meaning for me, I wasn't quite sure what you were trying to say.. except for the last stanza actually kind of summed it up in a simple, easy way so it was easier to understand. However I guess I didn't really grasp your words here. Could probably use a more interesting title too, didn't really lure me in.

  • 12 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    Eh, I loved the hummingbird reference especially at the end. It just put a nice metaphor into what you want and I could see a hummingbird floating off the page as silly as that sounds.

    5/5

    -Heather