Lu!!! THIS WAS GREAT!!... You know what I honestly think, and I'm not just saying this because I love you lol....this is one of those poems that need to be published, in a book, well known eventually. I felt like I was reading one of those poems I had to read in high school and break it down line by line.
Absolutely beautiful poem to say that least.
There's only one suggestion I could make regarding this stanza -
only to sprout beneath the flow
of paralyzing breathes.
And the tending of landscape
in each corner of the mind.'
^Breathes should be breaths if I'm not mistaken and also, I would take out the period after breaths, place a comma after it instead and then capitalize 'and' obviously. I think it'd work much better that way, may just be me.
I remember this poem, I think it was written for my contest many months ago. I'm not sure why you just posted it now. It's beautiful and you really did an excellent job with the challenge I presented you. You gave us nothing more or less than what Erato really is. I think writing from the perspective of the given muse definitely adds so much to the piece. I'm glad you went about doing that, it worked amazingly!
Oh Lu the title just caught my eye and drew me in to read this!
shall never grow
beneath another's shadow."
^Simple yet profound. The more I read this, the more different types of interpretations I come across...which is brilliant! Right from the beginning you have my mind engaged.
"Darkened by monotonous gestures
and silent lips. "
^The imagery here and word choice...wow. Blew me away Lu. Sometimes silence is harder to take then any chilling shrieks.
"wanting, for the silken strum"
"Yearning for butterfly flutters
within silent thoughts."
^I don't know why but this left me saying "awww" although I could sense the melancholy undertone.
Perfect ending and a wonderful poem overall. Thank you for sharing, I truly enjoyed reading it.