Comments : My One and Only

  • 13 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Austin, this is a nice change from the nature poems you normally do. Reading it I feel it is sweet and nice and hopeful. I also get the feeling of a heart about to burst with love for another. Good job.

  • 13 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Austin,

    This one was really so very refreshing, i guess i needed to read something like it.

    Though the complete poem is awesome..but these two lines just stood out for me

    wanting to embrace your presence
    but hesitant on the edges of hope.

    Great write friend

    all the best and take care

  • 13 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    This was very sweet, I'm glad you're able to feel this emotion and speak of it through your poetry. It's beautiful and something much different from what you normally write but I like it. It's very fresh & lovely.

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    AWWWH this is cute tooo!! :] I'm glad you're breaking your habit. And I don't mean the nature poems because those are your best but I mean you're style as far as writing goes. I liked that this poem was free verse because I believe love is that way as well. The way this poem was written helps me see how much you care for this person. It helps me see that she's different from the rest. I liked the diction you used as well. Very vivid but not too fictional. You wrote from the heart and that's a beautiful thing. Like Temps said it is a very fresh piece. Thanks for sharing deary. Keep it up. -Nik

  • 13 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Words can't describe how I feel
    when I see you every day,
    wanting to embrace your presence
    but hesitant on the edges of hope.

    I can feel the need to show love but it holds you back unsure how the respond will be..

    Maybe imagery will unveil my love,
    draped behind darkened barriers,
    ready to crumble and break forth
    overrunning you like a flood.

    The choice of your words "shows" how much
    you want to share your love with this special person...very nice!

    Still you are my one and only
    treasured in my heart
    always on my mind,
    piercing my soul with your words,
    burning in my veins
    I try to overdose on your love.

    Simply beautiful and so very cute. Filled with joy and waiting to burst out with love...well written!!!

  • 13 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Words can't describe how I feel
    when I see you every day,
    wanting to embrace your presence
    but hesitant on the edges of hope.
    Jad I love it,,when you're in love. I love to see new poems by you, just like you love to see me out of my sad zone, lol, however I love the way 90% of your poem are relateable.

    Now here I go, I love this piece, but I think you can do better, or I have seen better by you, I think that's cause you ARE REALLY in love, and wanted to show clearly the way you feel, without the barriers of metaphors and wording..etc..
    but if you focus more on this love and how it makes you feel, relating it to things you do better than I, you may come up with a better opening stanza, since it's a bit bitttt familiar..
    however

    your second stanza, is just amazingly pure, with great word choice and fabulous meaning. I envied the 1st lines of that 2nd stanza, i loved the mood, and the way you pulled us into your heart to know how you feel, without a further notification.
    Amazing.
    this is my fav:

    ready to crumble and break forth
    overrunning you like a flood.

    your closing lines express so much love, like this is the love that you are not ready to replace for nothing at all..and I
    CaNT
    blame
    You

    KEEEEEp writing :)
    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by mira

    Wow
    i like this write true and beatiful emotion i love it