Death consumes the mind
as fear decays what is left inside,
^Take out 'the' before mind.. and I would say 'as fear decays what is left within' not inside.
not a memory but a graveyard.
^Comma after memory, maybe?
One last note is that I wasn't really feeling the repetition of 'The Requiem' at all. It does help with the flow in a way however, because if you did take it out.. there would be no flow whatsoever.. but then again I do feel like it disrupts what is there for some reason. Sorry, just wasn't a huge fan of it.
You have an alright piece here though. I would so enjoy you coming up with some stronger metaphors and trying to weave them into your poems. You can't make a writer change their style however, so it's all up to you. I would definitely enjoy something with a little more creativity. But for what it is, you've done an okay job.
As my mother use to say, this conjers up some powerful images for me. It is sad, strong, a sense loss, anger, plenty of emotions and feelings to go around. I can see a person delievering these words with a sense of superority, sneering at the person they are talking to. None of these makes sense I am sure but it is such mixture of emotion, it is difficult to describe. Well done.