If I

by Rania Moallem   Apr 8, 2011


Am the last cigarette in your
pocket,
last drop in your cup,
the finest perfume that
you think you wear,
or the exceptional prey for
the bow you worship,
then
you'll be my last
wooden arrow...

let's teach you,
how to hunt..

by: Rania Moallem

3


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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    Nana
    What a unique piece you have penned. You don't have to come in last in anyones heart. When you feel you shuold be thought of more highly. Like you would think of them. I like how there was no begging for attention in this piece....just straight up...how it will be :) Nice imagery and word choices.
    Awesome job!
    Love Cindy

  • 6 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Dammit mods, gimme a spell check or an edit button!

  • 6 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    If I Am the last cigarette in your
    pocket, [etc]
    ^^^
    Just to show that a good poem can be interpeted in many ways: I saw this as a challenge from a strong independnet woman who does not need to be worshiped or fawned on.

    or the exceptional prey for
    the bow you worship,
    then
    you'll be my last
    wooden arrow...
    ^^^
    and how well stated is that challenge: a wooden arrow is actually the ancient weapon of choice, but stated here it sounds as if he is effete, hardley worth the expectations one might have

    let's teach you,
    how to hunt..
    ^^^
    crowning touch: ok, bub, I'm going to help you out so you make it worth my time WOW!

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    You always have such a creative voice in your writing that just is like BAM headstrong hehe....Jacey is right though, you had a powerful impact with these metahpors and descriptions, it was quite unique and still had that thought of bringing back what comes around..

    Well done Nana, and thanks for you reading my poetry, it always makes me smile!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    No you interpreted it way too close XD