Temps, your poem are always full of life and emotions and this piece was no different and in fact I love the metaphors you used with this poem. They really brought the poem to life and made it easier for me to get my head around. The poem had a good flow and the structure was good as well. The imagery was also good and it helped me picture everything that was going on in your poem.

"I hold this atmosphere in
these palms of mine,
sequestering all I am
within nebulae
for I wish to form into stars
so I can be the talisman
you wish upon."

This was my favorite part and I found it to be a very strong and wonderful opening. You had your emotions poured into this first part bringing the poem to life and instantly grabbing the readers attention. Your words are very powerful and they seem full of life and give each line of the poem a strong emotion.

All in all, you have done a really good job with this poem and I am amazed as I always am with your poetry. You always seem to express your emotions clearly and also the metaphors you use are always ways refreshing and creative. You have a wonderful talent and I am glad to see you use it. Can't wait to see what you write next. Great job and keep writing!

I agree with jad above when he said

"your poem are always full of life and emotions and this piece was no different and in fact I love the metaphors you used with this poem. They really brought the poem to life and made it easier for me to get my head around. The poem had a good flow and the structure was good as well. The imagery was also good and it helped me picture everything that was going on in your poem."

I really enjoyed reading this piece as I felt a connection with it

"for I'd magnify all you are
by nestling bits of mango leaves
within your heart
for I wish not to be afar,
always. "

The above is my favorite part

5/5

Perhaps then
you'd no longer feel telescopic,
for I'd magnify all you are
by nestling bits of mango leaves
within your hear

^
That was as good to read....as a piece of cheescake would be to eat..
So much depth and emotions....such AMAZING metaphors...jezaaas! ..you are one heck of a talented person...my god... Amazing piece !