Comments : You and I

  • 5 years ago

    by Inside the Liar

    I like the message behind this one, though I think the structure could use work.

    After reading through a lot of your poems, I've noticed the same thing about pretty much all of them: there are no stanza breaks. I understand that for some poets this is a stylistic choice, and it can be a good one when used properly, but I think that, in your case, you should consider putting stanza breaks in your poetry.

    The way most are now, they look like huge blocks of words, and this can put a reader off, because they look longer than they are. If you put in stanza breaks, however, they would be more appealing to the superficial eye.

    I decided to comment on this one mostly because the title made me think it was a comparison poem, and, after clicking on it, I realized I was correct. I think you could do so much more with this concept and this person - whomever he/she is. You could add to this poem. Try using some metaphors or similes. I know they aren't always easy to come up with, but the more you use them, the easier it gets, and both can really add a lot to a poem.

    As a final note, if you haven't, I would suggest experimenting a little bit with some different poetry forms. All of your poems right now are freeverse, which, don't get me wrong, is great. It's one of my favorite forms, too, but it can also be used as a crutch. Why not branch out? Try something new. You never know, you may like it. :)

  • 5 years ago

    by Silent Girl

    Amazing poem i love it :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Silent Girl

    Amazing poem i love it :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Silent Girl

    Amazing poem i love it :) 5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by LUCKY NGWENHA

    Your poem is nice and i suggest you re-edit it and correct some spelling errors that i have came across with.maybe you didn't see them.if this poem is sentimental and mental stressing as in like it happened to you.that guy is despicable and the greatest fiend who don't deserve a friend near and i guess u did end things with him.

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Kayla Heinze

    I live this poem... I can definitely relate to it for sure!! You did an amazing job! I also really love the detail you put into it. 5/5 :D