Cold as Ice

by Countess of Monte Cristo   May 26, 2011


I may have become bitter,
and as cold as ice..
Antagonizing every one around me,
Because they're used to having nice.

I seem to have no second line of defense,
the first is grudgingly the last,
Tasted what a slow torture feels like,
I'd rather be merciful by killing fast.

I may have become bitter,
And freezing as ice,
But i wouldn't have been that way,
Had it not been so costly to be nice.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by kimara4955

    So true, to be nice gives people the oppertunity to take advantage, take you for granted granted. i don't trust as easily as i use to, which ruins it for the descent people. great writing hun.
    take care
    xkimx

  • 7 years ago

    by Thomas

    The poem is good but could be better with editing, should you like to continue work on it. Also, my advice is simply meant to be helpful, and only use it if you like.

    Anyways, the first stanza is good, however the last line does not sound right grammatically, you could try changing it to "Because they're used to having me be nice" or "Because they're used to me being nice". It just interrupts the flow with it written as is, in my opinion.

    I like the second stanza. The first line feels a little long, and may flow better with the other lines if it were shortened. That's the only real advice I have for that stanza.

    The third stanza I'd like to see you remove any unnecessary words such as "so" in the fourth line or the "but" beginning the third line. It's not necessary to remove them, however again, I think the poem itself would flow better.

    Just a few small changes I think could be made, should you like to do so. Either way, good work.

  • 7 years ago

    by tariq

    Bye

  • 7 years ago

    by tariq

    Bye

  • 7 years ago

    by tariq

    Good poem

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