Comments : Cold as Ice

  • 6 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Oh Walah this was goood. Veyr eerie feel to it but such a good story as well. I love the imagery. Glad to see you sharing more with us. We have missed you :] -Nik

  • 6 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    As I read this I felt like a person who has been taken advantage of and been pushed and quashed left to be alone..a deeply sad write...hope all is well with you...take care.

  • 6 years ago

    by Jad

    This poem portrays the darker side of the human mind that not many people actually show but I know and they know they feel. Some people however actually do embrace this idea and it is sad for those who do because they really don't understand that though being nice does cost the rewards are often bigger. :] The poem had a steady flow that went from verse to verse. The only thing I did not see that I didn't like was the rhyming as it seemed forced and it took away from the poem. Its something I suffer with and I just think it takes a lot of practice which is what you are doing.

    The poem overall was good and kept to its theme and was constant in its message and emotions. This poem was written from a darker view but it still held its own compared to your other poetry. I hope you continue to step out of your comfort zone with what you are willing to write and explore new possibilities. Great job and keep writing!

  • 6 years ago

    by tariq

    Good poem

  • 6 years ago

    by tariq

    Bye

  • 6 years ago

    by tariq

    Bye

  • 6 years ago

    by Thomas

    The poem is good but could be better with editing, should you like to continue work on it. Also, my advice is simply meant to be helpful, and only use it if you like.

    Anyways, the first stanza is good, however the last line does not sound right grammatically, you could try changing it to "Because they're used to having me be nice" or "Because they're used to me being nice". It just interrupts the flow with it written as is, in my opinion.

    I like the second stanza. The first line feels a little long, and may flow better with the other lines if it were shortened. That's the only real advice I have for that stanza.

    The third stanza I'd like to see you remove any unnecessary words such as "so" in the fourth line or the "but" beginning the third line. It's not necessary to remove them, however again, I think the poem itself would flow better.

    Just a few small changes I think could be made, should you like to do so. Either way, good work.

  • 6 years ago

    by kimara4955

    So true, to be nice gives people the oppertunity to take advantage, take you for granted granted. i don't trust as easily as i use to, which ruins it for the descent people. great writing hun.
    take care
    xkimx