Bastille

by Colm   May 30, 2011


I wake with an alarming desire
to arm myself with balloons
and storm the Bastille -

Maybe I'll find you there,
behind the portcullis, trying
to sing with a voice you don't have.
I'll blink into your daisy eyes...
and let balloons be Icarus.

I'll cry like the guillotine,
and you'll weep
to the alarming sound
of silence.

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  • 12 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    Okay, this makes me giggle a bit, no offense. The image of someone walking around with balloons on a gun belt type thing over their shoulder. Sorry if that seems mean, but that made me giggle at the image that popped into my head when I read that.

    I really liked how you were so creative in this poem. I definitely loved the vocabulary that was used in here.

    I can definitely see your own style that has developed more in your newer pieces of writing. I must admit I love your own style in your newer poems, but I definitely see the progression from your older works to your works now.

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Awesome!! This piece is strong, and interesting. I think you have done a fantastic job. It has emotion, description, thought, voice, strength, and a wonderful flow. The length is nice. You say so much, with such an impact with only a few simple stanzas, so excellent job there. It is very vivid and unique, at least to me. 5/5 from me.