Comments : Monsters

  • 12 years ago

    by Aureus Argentum

    Oh wow.
    That last line really brought everything together. What a beautiful piece you have penned here! Not only is it powerful, but it's a statement. :) Well done!

  • 12 years ago

    by The Queen

    This poem is the best I've read from you so far. My God Yaki, I'm amazed at how much better of a poet you have already become. So proud of you. :D

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    I have been putting off reading poems due to laziness, and I am so so so glad I decided to stop by and read this. Can I just say...I'm jealous I didn't think of this first? LOL. This is incredible!

    The very beginning made me smile, I had the same childhood with screaming in the yard, koolaid stained lips and terrifying monsters under the bed. I've also had the latter half of your poem in a bad time of my life, and I feel like I have told you a part of my story and you wrote from it. It's amazing how well you pulled my memories..lol.

    "were play dates"

    I would change the "were" here to "our". It makes a bit more sense in the transition, unless I'm reading it wrong.

    The ending..just..wow. You know how I love your quotes? I love the poetry you've begun to create now as well. You've always had so much talent and potential, but you are growing so much into a beautifully gifted poet. I am so excited to see this transition in you, such wise poetry. I absolutely love that ending.

  • 12 years ago

    by xx stacy xx

    It is amazing and true. only being 14 i understand and go through it almost every day, the toys of are childhood, is now the pictures inside of are past.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lu

    Yaki this is truly a wonderful write. Each day you grow more and more and your emotions strike deeper and deeper with each write.

    I am soooooo proud of you girly !!!!