Wistful.

Temps, Temps, Temps, you know how superb and refined I found this piece of art! if I were here when you wrote this, it would be my first nomination of the week. For I was so touched by the awesomeness of each line you penned. I incredibly love how you put "stargaze" at first, as if you yearn for something in the past or so, right? and then I felt the longings, wistfulness and the plenty of melancholy when I continued reading. the referrings to palmistry were by all means brilliant and they painted such a perfect image, the metphor about love when you said "strawberry" was as soft and amazing as you are :)

"for your love was never parallel
to mine, as mine curved
between petals from root
to stem, stumbling -
'til I gave my heart
to you artlessly,"

-that is so in depth, and I really can relate to this part, you are comparing his love with yours, and how your love was true. Grief and gloom are obviously well-written. I adore the insertion of "artlessly", you mean to say you were simple and artless? Temps, you are really wonderful. :)

-the ending was such a heartbreaking perfect one! his love wasn't true and profound as yours was, and he went on his way while you were yearning and wilting... undescribable. :) creative piece, my friend. keep writing.

I have never felt so touched by a short poem in the way that I am with this one. Everything is perfect about it; the length and the power of your words- adds the perfect affect to the poem. Well done!! :) nd thx for the read

"I stargaze as"

This draws me for so many reasons, it is so simple to say "I" and then the verb....but the idea of stargazing opens up to those memories of something you can never forget maybe.

"a strawberry crescent bouquet
blossoms within my palm
wistfully weeping,"

I like the odd sort of imagery here of those three words "strawberry crescent bouquet"...it just bursts with opportunity of springs and eternal beauty/ something else too.....that something will always blossom no matter that doubt, or whatever ashes you hold.

Great alliteration, it brings sadness to the mouth when speaking. The flow is calming here, but the "wistfully weeping" gives me a sense that sweetness cannot last forever, that there might be something crooked you find that deepens sadness.

"for your love was never parallel
to mine, as mine curved
between petals from root
to stem, stumbling -
'til I gave my heart
to you artlessly,"

You give your heart out here....the strength here as you root out the truth of your love, what it truly was, that you couldn't say how perfect and straight it was between you, something curved and not altogether how you wished it to be.

"while yours never reached
the same depth,
but rather rose while I
wilted."

Tragic ending but you hold onto that truth, you gave everything, all the emotions swelling and every color in your heart......
that last line seems like you never faced life together, like couldn't connect in those ways and you continue to grow weary while he moves on, leaving...

Thoughtful piece, created so brilliantly well dear.
God's blessings and angels!

~MaryAnne

Love this piece, a real deep poem with strong affection.

Your word choice was pinned perfectly and the flow was captivating.

Excellent work

5/5

I can't believe I haven't commented on this yet, lol.

As you know from before I loved this and thought many pieces here were really unique. I like how you use stargaze, which could mean a multitude of things but instantly I think of lilies (my favorite flower). I like the small alliteration of "wistfully weeping" and thought it gave the perfect kind of feel to the beginning of the poem.

The bit about being never parallel to mine was fantastic, and thought it was such a unique way to state what you were saying here. So much imagery and symbolism here, as in all of your poetry, and it's brilliant.

I love the ending, it's the perfect idea of you always want what you can't have. Beautifully written, very wistful ;)